Need some help

[Evan]

I need a lot of help.

I made a big mistake and now I have no idea what to do.

I had moved out to Miami last Jan. and returned to NYC in August. When I moved back, I started dating this girl I had met at a pool party I had thrown a while back. When the housing I had obtained fell through, she offered to have me move in with her even though we were still young in the relationship. I accepted cause I was mesmerized by her.

Let me tell you a bit about her. She's 26, Chinese but born in America, and an ex stripper living in Chinatown. She has had 2 years of college at FIT. Her parents live upstate. She has lived on her own in Manhattan for the last 5-6 years. She stopped dancing when she was able to get some lonely guy to be her sugar daddy, constantly giving her rent money monthly as well as paying bills and giving her spending cash. For this, all she did was hang out with him and pretend to be attracted to him. She didn't provide sexual favors (I know this because I have talked with him and he didn't know I was her boyfriend). Most importantly, she is a crystal meth addict. She sniffs crystal all day and all night, not sleeping for days at a time. She says she does this to keep thin cause she is addicted to junk food. She'll eat 12 cupcakes in 1 day without even blinking and call it a mid day snack. Because of the crystal, her body metabolizes it instantly. Lastly, she is also insane.

Let me explain: When I moved in mid August, everything was great. We fucked and sucked our brains out all day and all night. I was consulting doing PC work and was building up my business, so we shared in all the bills. She would see her sugar daddy and get her half, and I would supply the other half. In September-October, she decided that she didn't want to see the sugar daddy anymore. She said that I should, as her boyfriend, be taking care of her. I was a bit scared, as I have been used in the past, but she seemed so caring and so loving, that I overlooked it. When I had first moved in, I noticed that she didn't talk much on the phone. She called her drug dealer and would go see her once or twice a week. More and more I realized that she didn't have ONE friend besides her dealer. When I started paying all the bills, I took her to one of my friends who actually supplied her dealer and we got much better prices. I was just trying to make her happy. I was also trying to introduce her to my friends so she had more friends.

So there I was paying all the bills while she was staying home and doing nothing all day every day. I would go out to work and come back and she'd be in the same room doing the same thing. I asked her to at least do the laundry since I was the one working, but she just let it pile up. She refused to even go out to the deli 1 block away instead waking me up in the middle of the night to go get her cake, drinks, etc. It was getting harder and harder for me to be functional during the day since she was keeping me up all night. She kept getting scarier and scarier not leaving the apartment for weeks at a time. She also hated it when I was on the phone getting jealous over every phone call be it from guy or girl. She hated it when I left the apartment begging me to come back. Now I like to be a couch potato as much as the next guy, but I'm not a shut in. I need contact with my friends. I tried bringing her out to movies, clubs, etc, but she just argued with me instead.

In November, I was late with getting the rent money because one of my clients had been late with a check. She went ballistic on me throwing my laptop at me and breaking it. She was literally on top of me beating the shit out of me. I have NEVER hit a girl in any way shape or form and I refused to do it now. I held her back as well as I could. When I finally got her arms to her side and was holding her down so she would stop hitting me, she started screaming that I was killing her. She screamed loud enough that the whole building would hear. I got scared so I covered her mouth with my hand. This stopped the screaming and after 30 seconds I backed away. She was crying heavily and said that I had knocked out her dental bridge. She was demanding for my phone to call the police that I had assaulted her. I was scared shitless. I had NO evidence besides my broken laptop and gear that she had initiated this. I am on a drug probation in CT and could go to jail for violating it in anyway. So To console her, I told her I would pay for her bridge repair. I actually felt bad that I had knocked it out, even though I had not put that much pressure on her mouth. She calmed down and the next day it was like nothing happened. She was on top of me to get her a appointment and pay the dental bill which could amount to $4-5K. A week later she lightly dropped that her bridge work had been loose in the first place. I was shocked and pissed. I had been beating myself up that I had done something horrible. From then on I promised to myself to videotape all future fights with her for my own protection.

I have videotaped 2-3 fights where she has been jealous of my hanging out with my friends, accusing me of having an affair (I have not), and lying to her (I haven't). She has broken more of my stuff as well as throwing a boiling tea kettle at me full of water. Now you ask, why didn't I leave her? I actually tried 3 times. The first time I packed my stuff, she was crying heavily and threatened suicide. When I wouldn't stop packing, she swallowed a bunch of pills ranging from Ephedra to Excedrin PM to unknown pills. I ended up staying with her that night to watch over her. She apologized the next day and told me to give her another chance. The next time she went berserk on me, I again packed my stuff and even had a couple of friends come over to help me leave. She went down on her knees begging for forgiveness, telling me that I was everything to her. She swore to stop doing crystal and to be more loving. I again stupidly relented. She did stop doing crystal for a couple days but all she would do all day is sleep and she was very annoying so I let her go back on it. The third time, I told her I was leaving, she told me that if I left, she would go to the police and tell them about my drug use as well as tell them where my friend lives. My friend is one of NYC's biggest distributors. He would get busted hard time. I don’t even know what would happen to me if this befell him. I was shocked and scared. I swore to myself that I will wait till she finally leaves the apartment during the day and move the fuck out. Course she has yet to do that, so I am biding my time.

Meanwhile, during our relationship, it came out that the had had an abortion a year ago but the next time she got pregnant, she would keep it. I got scared and protested. I laid out the facts: 1.) She had no career 2.) My career was not even back up yet 3.) We were in the beginning of a relationship 4.) She was a crystal junkie 5.) she was irresponsible 6.) We have no insurance I then brought up a scary story she had told me a week before. She had had 2 cats and was not being careful when she poured liquid bleach on one of them. While this cat was in pain, she just put him in the garbage chute in her building. I was horrified, but she seemed sorry. But to trust this girl with a baby...HELL NO. I asked her early in our relationship to go on ANY sort of birth control from the pill to the patch. She refused complaining about mood changes. I told her she already had them, so what would be a bit more. I tried to have friends tell her about there experience with the patch and no mood swings but she refused to listen. Now I know I could have just stayed using a condom, but come on... There is a huge difference in feel. We would have been using 5 condoms a day.. and birth control is more reliable. One thing that scared me is that when I pull out and would cum on her stomach, I have seen her take the come on her finger and put it inside of her, telling me that she loves the feeling of my cum on and in her.

Sure enough now, this bitch is late 1 week. She REFUSES to take a pregnancy test. Why? Cause she says that she "scared" to. I'm telling her I'm bugging out more by her NOT taking it. Meanwhile, she has told me that if she is pregnant, she will keep it. Course she told me this while taking a bump of crystal. I asked her if I left her, how would she take care of it. She told me she would go back to her parents upstate. I am pissed. I totally believe in the woman's right to choose, but do I get any say in this at all? I know this girl. She will NOT stop smoking or doing crystal if she is pregnant. I am scared to even think of how she will take care of any baby as she can't even take care of herself. I know that when I leave her she will sue me for some sort of child support. I am lost and I don't know what to do. She is still trying to be intimate with me all the time, but even though she is one of the hottest girls I've ever dated, I can't bear to look at her. She disgusts me.

What should I do?

[Evan]

I know some of you have nothing but sarcasm and hate in your heart, but I am really in trouble here and I am asking that I truly get some advice here rather than any spiteful remarks.

[ovrdose]

wow i read most of that and if that's even half way true i would run like i never ran before. this whole story is just a stairway of terribly bad decisions.

[Evan]

And for those of you that want to see why I stayed with her so long:

[phuturephunk]

Dude, Evan. You should know better by now man. Leave her, and leave her now. She's either gonna die of her addiction or be killed by someone who she crosses the wrong way, you don't want to be part of that. If you're not clean, get there now, flush everything out of your system and get all the junk you may have lying around in the toilet, so by off chance you get surprise tested, nothing happens.

But seriously, this is dead end..Leave.

[lalate]

I read every line. Dude, is this all true? If so, got some suggestions here.

[phuturephunk]

And thinking about the dealer angle in this. You're fucked seriously dude.

[Evan]

Yes..Everything is true.

I am for the most part clean. I have no drugs testable in my system as well as have no supplies on me are at the apartment.

I AM leaving. I am working on getting an apartment that I can move into. It's hard cause when I answer classifieds, they call me back at bad times when she is around and I can't let her know I am doing this. She has already tried hiding Hard drives, my passport and drivers licence, etc to keep me from leaving. So I need to do this on the down low.

I am not scared of the abuse anymore as I have plenty of proof on video of her going mental. My biggest problem is the pregnancy. I DO NOT want to have a kid with this girl. And if she decides to keep it, I do not want to be financially responsible because she is too lazy to work or make money in any way.

So, any advice besides "leave her" which I am doing is greatly appreciated. (I've already heard the baseball bat method as well as the pushing down the stairs method, but I'm just not that type of guy)

[crowina]

wow! i can only say a selfish prayer that if she is pregnant and still using that the drug would cause a miscarriage.

as far a you, get out but play the game!!... you can take video of her? take videos of her using... make three copies... keep one copy by you and the other two at someone's home... then threaten to show her parents, and tell her you have three copies, so if she tries to destroy the tape all you have to do is say the word and is in the mail... also threaten to send a copy to the police… this would put her in trouble for endangering the welfare of a child... it would land her in jail... keep her clean, but i am afraid the child would be put for adoption.

as far as your friends... i hope she does not know were they live. tell them that there is a hot spot and they have to change their numbers, or use a calling card for a while.

quite honestly from what i've seen in life, she is using the pregnancy to keep you close... if you leave NOW!!! she may seek an abortion...

if you do leave her... keep NO contact with her!! she will be all alone with her thoughts and hopefully she will realize that she is not in the position to be having a child.

[lalate]

a) There are hot girls out there that are not messed up.

Just because she's hot or hot in bed was no reason to live through this

You need to get better bros.

No bro would have let you last through paragraph one of this story

c) DV is a real concern.

Dont think because you have videotapes of previous encounters that will nullify a future incident. Think again. By paragraph 2 this post sounds like its was going to be a dv case. With a pregnancy, youre a daddy. With a bad dv situation, you can have jail time.

e) Dont be alone

Dont be alone with her for a second. Get another roomate. Do something. Being alone with her opens a can of worms.

f) Personal ID info

Hide it. Who cares what she thinks. Hide your personal stuff. ID theft is a viable concern. Cellphones, ids, etc. Unles you want to end the relationship with even more huge problems that just a baby.

g) Pregnancy

Unfortunately, this is a hard one. Will defer to the rest of the baord on htis one .

[therunner]

Run

[tranzwhore]

First go out and buy the EPT test yourself. Then spend the day with her and talk to her about taking the test. So you both can know what the deal is. If she wants to keep it, knowing early is her best chance at stopping using and keeping her baby's health safe. If she is prego's and you don't want to be with her then you still have a responsibility to take care of it cuz dude u knew what was up from the jump. Also, try to talk to her about another abortion or an adoption. There are plenty of people out there willing to pay lots of $$$ for a kid. Good luck, brother. Communication is vital. I hope it works out!

[jtk4]

number 1 you have to start getting better taste in girls, atleast better taste in their mental state. You kinda made your bed with this one, lets see retired stripper with no job, a sugar daddy, and a crystal meth problem, no friends, and a tad bit insane. I am sure the sex was good but how did you think this was going to turn out?

Now you were worried about getting her pregnant but still continued to plow away, but seeing how she is a meth head i wouldn't worry about her being only a week late her body is probably not functioning right.

If she is i am sure she will keep doing meth and chances are the baby will not make it the whole 9 months.

Oh and run, don't look back bitches on meth can run pretty fast.

[Evan]

I bought a test. It's sitting on the toilet seat unused. I have asked her 10 times to use it. She gave me the old "If you keep bothering me about it, I won't do it", so I stopped asking, and of course she STILL hasn't done it.

My friends have been telling me for months to get the fuck out of here. I have been an idiot and trying to make it work with this girl.

I forgot to mention more about her insantiy. She has bouts of crying. She'll just start crying for no reason. She'll also have dreams where I cheat on her, then wake up hitting me asking me why i did it. The best though, is that she has built a bench in the closet. She now sits in there hours a day picking at her skin with tweezers as tina heads do and starting projects to the halfway point before dropping that and starting a new one, coming out only to use the bathroom and eat. Sometimes she'll come out to sleep on the bed with me... But that's only like once every other day. She went out on my birthday almost 2 weeks ago to go to a supermarket to buy me cake, She has not left since then. She stayed home in the closet on New Years Eve while I begged her for hours to leave. I finally got tired and left to my friend's getting there 10 min before midnight, and leaving 1 hour later to confirm that she hadn't started breaking my stuff for leaving. My girlfriend is literrally in the closet. Very fucken weird.

She's also very lazy and LOVES to put stuff off. I'll give her the rent money and she'll wait a week to give it to the landlord. I tell her I want to help her get dental insurance, and she has yet to go with me to the insurance office. She keeps promising to go back to dancing or at least call her sugar daddy (who calls my phone every other day to see her...He's up to $1,000 for 2 hours to go to the movies) and she has put it off for weeks for NO reason. Now she's doing the same thing in putting off her pregnancy test.

As for the chance that the crystal has messed up her schedual...yeah..there is that chance..but for the last 5-6 months, she gets cramps in the last week of the month, and gets her period in the first week of every month. She had stomache pains last week, but said they were different. She was also nautious a bit. Now she has no more pains, is eating like a horse and has a little bit of a belly (but not much..so i dunno if it's from all the food or pregnancy) and tells me her pussy is constanty dripping and her breasts are sore. All those signs point to her being pregnant.

Yes. I KNOW I put myself in this situation. But honestly..I didn't know she was mental when I moved in. And I had just moved out of a all male sober house in Miami I had lived in for 9 months and she was my first relationship out of it. I NEED to get out of here now cause she's driving me insane.

One more pic to try and explain why it was hard for me to leave (I covered the naughty bits, cause while I do hate her right now, I am not an evil bastard):

[Guest brwneydtrouble]

Evan, dont try to justify all this by her looks. That means NOTHING. Like he said, there are hot girls that aren't mental. This is SUCH bad news.

LISTEN to the advice. Get the hell out and FAST.

You know, call me an insensetive bitch but even if she is pregnant get the fuck outta there. And don't look back.

[lalate]

Dude, you got some girls giving you some great advice here on the board. Listen to the advice. Dont be posting back 4,000 words more about the 300 more issues the chick has. We got it the first time, we understand, she's crazy.

And enough with the "here's her pic she's so hot thats why i couldnt leave her" stuff ... ever heard of the character Medusa?

[Evan]

I'm meeting with the managment of this building tommorow: http://www.equityapartments.com/market/brochure.aspx?page=overview&PropID=2461 I'm running as fast as I can. Just letting u guys know..this is gonna get ugly.

[ghhhhhost]

u , sir, are the man

[Guest brwneydtrouble]

I'm meeting with the managment of this building tommorow: http://www.equityapartments.com/market/brochure.aspx?page=overview&PropID=2461 I'm running as fast as I can. Just letting u guys know..this is gonna get ugly.

OMG thats ridiculously expensive!!!!!! How the hell do you people eat up there? Man and I thought $650 for a 400sf studio on south beach was kinda steep.......

There goes any idea of moving to NYC.

[Evan]

OMG thats ridiculously expensive!!!!!! How the hell do you people eat up there? Man and I thought $650 for a 400sf studio on south beach was kinda steep.......

There goes any idea of moving to NYC.

I was paying more when I lived in Battery Park City. Anyways, you can find better prices on http://newyork.craigslist.org I'm just a spoiled yuppie bitch.

[Felix_Leiter]

dude u should have left a long time ago..

sever all ties..

and dont give in to the eggroll pussy

[famousamos]

i'll off her for 20 bucks.....PM me if interested...

[lalate]

I was paying more when I lived in Battery Park City. Anyways, you can find better prices on http://newyork.craigslist.org I'm just a spoiled yuppie bitch.

You should move in with dgmodel.

[theplant]

Just feed her to me.

[happyface]

Good Luck Evan, kid or no kid get the fuck out,it can only get worst.