crossy Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 So I'm with her for about 2 and a half years, she wants to get married, I don't. So she f@#$'n dumps me! WTF? I mean, if she wanted to marry me, you'd think she liked me and wanted to be with me. Is getting married more important to girls than being with someone you love? ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Sorry to hear that, but I don't think that she doesn't love you anymore. Maybe she just thinks that you don't love her enough to commit... some girls just need this "safety net", don't know why but they do.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Oh shit.. Bad week for everyone huh.. Really sorry to hear that Brian. But I doubt that it's serious, I've heard of women "breaking up" with their men just to get them to marry them. I think it's horrible that she's willing to lose you over this. Marriage is very important but you cannot force someone into marriage!!! I hope she realizes that and waits until you are ready. Or maybe she doesn't feel like you love her enough to get married, in that case reassure her that loving her is not the problem. Why rush into marriage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Awww honey Im sorry to hear that. I dont know if it helps but this quote always made me smile after my break up. A lil cheesy to some but comforting to me... "Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while, so when you are lonely, remember it's true, somebody, somewhere, is thinking of you." -- D'Anne Bucy------------------ "The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist." - Aaron Machado AOL = MadamKittE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Sorry to hear that. I agree with Zoya...don't let her force you to do something that big. You might regret it in the end. If you're not ready, it's for a reason. Hope things work out!Breann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexxxi Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Sorry to hear that...that really bites. Try to smile...it eventually helps each day go a little better than the last!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ancientskewl Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 It's not so much as whether or not she Likes you...I'm pretty sure she does to have stayed in the relationship that long. You fell victim to the "Shit or get off the Pot" syndrome that we Guys refer to as an "ultimatum". In her eyes her clock was probably running out and it no longer made sense for her to be with you without that ultimate commitment and sense of security.She also probably doesn't want to wait until she's 30+ to tie the knot. How old is she anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quanto_magnus Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by crossy:So I'm with her for about 2 and a half years, she wants to get married, I don't. So she f@#$'n dumps me! WTF? I mean, if she wanted to marry me, you'd think she liked me and wanted to be with me. Is getting married more important to girls than being with someone you love? I feel ya, bro!! I've had that happen to me too... TWICE... Fuckin' sucks big donkey doo when it happens... ------------------ Hugha.k.a. ibhugh, Bryan Adamsemail: ibhugh@yahoo.comaolim: hugesk8r Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 i thought you were single two or three weeks ago, no?? i'm confused, but sometimes girls feel they want to get married b/c their time is running out. like maybe she really loves you but feels that if she invests another two years in your relationship and then you still don't want to get married then she's wasted two years in a dead-end relationship!!! i'm just saying this is how some girls think, NOT all. one of my college girlfriends decided to give her b/f the benefit of the doubt and stuck with him until he was ready to get married and eventually they did. if you know in your heart that you NEVER want to marry this girl and she really wants to get married then you have to try to see her point of view. ick, love sux!!------------------ Boink like a snow bunny!!!uknj@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Brian, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Break ups are never the easiest things to get over especially if they were a long relationship.HOWEVER, I don’t agree with a lot of what’s being said in here. I don’t think she tried to give you an ultimatum. More like it was an ultimatum for herself. To her, she’s probably thinking that she’s been with you for two years and she’s ready emotionally to go onto the next stage. She probably feels that either1. You don’t love her ENOUGH to marry her, in which case after two and a half years you should sorta know if you’re with the right person or not. OR . . . .2. You’re just not ready to move to the next level cause you’re not ready emotionally not because you don’t love her, in which case both of you guys are working off of a different level.She’s not wrong and neither are you for being honest. Two and a half years is a lot to give up on and maybe shoe won’t. Perhaps she’ll give you a lil’ more time, but if she doesn’t . . . then be thankful that you met someone who is honest enough to say when.Huggs & Kisses!! BlueAngel------------------"We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists . . . in the loved one, perfection." -Sydney Portier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crossy Posted January 5 Author Report Share Posted January 5 Thanks everyone. I know I'll be fine eventually. It just sucks now. In ways, I've actually looked forward to it happening, cause I could kinda tell it was coming. I mean, I def. didn't want this, but at the same time I was thinking, well, if she dumps me, I'll be able to party more and hook up at clubs and stuff. But now, I've gone out, and if I had any desire to hook up I'm sure I could've, I just don't even want to right now. I can't even think about hookin up, and then I feel totally pathetic, cause I've never been like this, I've always just hooked up to get over girls, and now I don't even want to.She's 27, I'm 25 (for another month). Zoya, Bre, I totally agree. I'm just not ready. And I'm not commiting for life until I'm f'n positive. It's weird, it's not that she has any reason not to trust me. But she still wants more of a commitment. If I'm not cheating on her and not going to, then what difference does marriage make. I mean, I know, I'm just kinda babbling.Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risa06 Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by blueangel:Brian, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Break ups are never the easiest things to get over especially if they were a long relationship.HOWEVER, I don’t agree with a lot of what’s being said in here. I don’t think she tried to give you an ultimatum. More like it was an ultimatum for herself. To her, she’s probably thinking that she’s been with you for two years and she’s ready emotionally to go onto the next stage. She probably feels that either1. You don’t love her ENOUGH to marry her, in which case after two and a half years you should sorta know if you’re with the right person or not. OR . . . .2. You’re just not ready to move to the next level cause you’re not ready emotionally not because you don’t love her, in which case both of you guys are working off of a different level.She’s not wrong and neither are you for being honest. Two and a half years is a lot to give up on and maybe shoe won’t. Perhaps she’ll give you a lil’ more time, but if she doesn’t . . . then be thankful that you met someone who is honest enough to say when.Huggs & Kisses!! BlueAngelI'm with you on this one.........------------------"I don't want you to love me........" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crossy Posted January 5 Author Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by uknjx2:i thought you were single two or three weeks ago, no?? i'm confused, but sometimes girls feel they want to get married b/c their time is running out. like maybe she really loves you but feels that if she invests another two years in your relationship and then you still don't want to get married then she's wasted two years in a dead-end relationship!!! i'm just saying this is how some girls think, NOT all. one of my college girlfriends decided to give her b/f the benefit of the doubt and stuck with him until he was ready to get married and eventually they did. if you know in your heart that you NEVER want to marry this girl and she really wants to get married then you have to try to see her point of view. ick, love sux!!We broke up like three weeks ago, for the first time in our relationship. Then, we got back together for the wrong reason, we missed each other, but the problem was still there, so we just broke up again for good.And that's the thing too, cause I know it's not that I'd never marry her, I just know I don't want to now. But some day I would, I just don't know when.Casey, I'd say reason #2 is pretty much it.Hugh, it happened to me one other time too, but I didn't mind, cause I wouldn't have ever married the other girl. It was more of a fun/convienence relationship.Thanks again everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 OK, I didn't read any other responses because I didn't want it to effect my own. I have to ask a question, which of the following applies to you:-you don't ever want to get married-you didn't want to marry her-you thought about marrying her but not so soonHer response to your telling her one of the above can be justified in some of these situations but not others.1st scenario - right & wrong - she may have realized that she'll one day need a commitment. Cut it off now before it gets deeper. Then again, if she knew this all along and got involved thinking she could change that, then she's wrong.2nd scenario - she's right - obviously although I'm sure you wouldn't say something like that3rd scenario - she's stupid - if it's just a matter of time then she should stick it out.It depends on the person. ------------------ A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandie Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 i'm sorry bri!!!!*big hugz*luv,brandie------------------"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.""To love someone is something..to be loved by someone is something else..but to be loved by the one you love is everything.." Rob&Brandie AAF loves2cox@netscape.net AIM: loves2cox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by crossy:So I'm with her for about 2 and a half years, she wants to get married, I don't. So she f@#$'n dumps me! WTF? I mean, if she wanted to marry me, you'd think she liked me and wanted to be with me. Is getting married more important to girls than being with someone you love? This is just my $.02If I was with someone for 2 1/2 years and we were in LOVE and my partner didn't want move further, I wold have to nip it in the bud myself! But if we talked about getting married but at a later date I would hang in there!I'm not going to waste another 2 years waiting around for no reason.I wish you luck hunnie, Not every girl is looking for marriage, just maybe a stable relationship.There are some guys and girls out there that just wanna hook up, and that's it !!!!!------------------Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long. Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!Aolimer: Glowgirl42000Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 girlz are nutty. ------------------ you're so twisted...hold me...i am nice and easy... shadowchaser076@aol.com exitsux@deeznutz.org Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb53 Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Sorry, that really sucks. If a girl doesn't think you are ever going to marry her and she wants to get married, she is going to move on. I am sure she still loves you but did you ever tell her that you wanted to be with her in the long run? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by crossy:Is getting married more important to girls than being with someone you love? I didn't respond to this part. If a girl wants to be married then, yes it is more important. The way I look at it is like this...if you love someone but say that you don't want to get married that's like saying "I love you, but only up to this point." It's like putting a ceiling on love. I myself know that I want to be married again someday, I want someone to love me unconditionally (although some people say the only unconditional love is between a parent and a child). I know there are guys who are just afraid of the commitment or afraid of failure but...you never know, someday you might meet a girl who is so important that your love for her might be much bigger than your fears.------------------ A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petrol Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 For me, I want to *feel* wedded to my love before I actually sign the papers, because, for me, the emotional committment is more important than a legally binding agreement.I've been in two relationships which lasted well over three years. The bottom line, is: It's really hard to get two people on the same page at the same time.Brian, hang in there. You are among friends who understand how you feel. If you feel like it, come out tonight. We'll be scattered across NYC... I'm sure you can get hugs all around.Peace,Eric------------------"Buckle up"-she knows who she is.AOL IM: petrol01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suedenyc Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Sorry buddy. I feel for you. Happiness comes first--for both of you! Never settle!Now with that said: You want me to have her legs broken? Cheer up!------------------Peace,Love & Hairgrease,Rich Suede Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crossy Posted January 8 Author Report Share Posted January 8 Originally posted by suedenyc:Now with that said: You want me to have her legs broken? Thanks man, but, I think I'll let it slide for now.Cathyo, It's def. the 3rd scenario. I just can't tell her when, so she didn't want to wait around. Which tells me, marriage is more important to her, then being with someone she loves and loves her back.Fuck it, I had a pretty good weekend and I'm sure they'll just keep gettin' better.Bri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseytom Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 Crossy - I am sorry to hear about your situation... never is fun. However, it is good to hear that you are comfortable enough with this girl to tell her your thoughts and feelings. Honesty is good thing... sometimes it hurts but it is always better. I will pray that things work out the best for you.. Originally posted by suedenyc:Now with that said: You want me to have her legs broken? Lets wait and make sure they do not get back together... I would hate for crossy to hate us for breaking his possible future wife's legs... LMAO------------------One Love... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggmok Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tick, tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick . . .boom . . .that was her biological clock my friend . . .------------------Life is too short to be small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dabiatchka Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 Yeah being with Someone U love is important but when A girl gets older And lets a guy know she'd like to get married someday and he says he doesn't than why invest ur time and energy in the guy if in the long run he doesn't want to marry you. Its like working ur ass off in college to get ur degree and then working at Mcdonalds as a career after graduation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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