Committment...Anyone Afraid???

[optikal23]

I was just wondering if anyone on this board is afraid of committment (at any level).

Obviously, marriage is more serious of a committment than a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship.

But who's afraid to settle down with just one person, no matter how special he/she may be?

[clubbingirl]

yea, thats definetly me.

my parents dont have a good relationship, and one of my biggest fears is to marry someone i will grow to hate.

so my last bf was the best. he seriously was a sweetheart and the most perfect-est guy e-ver.

but as our relationship grew, i began to pick these little fights with him....fights about nothing. i think i fought with him subconsciously. I would just get irrated over the littlest thing. BUT thank god, he never let up. he would always try to hold us together b/c he knew he didnt do anything wrong and he also kenw that my parents' relationship effected me alot.

but then one day he did make a mistake--a trust issue. and i did break up with him. so in a sense, i think i lost my one true soul mate. but we are still best friends. and i really believe that if we were meant to be, we will be together in the end. just not now.

[aboyfrombklyn]

I wouldn't say that I am afraid of committment, but I do know that I'm hesitant when it comes to a committment. That's only because I'm never sure how I really feel about the person. Just when I think I'm starting to really like a person, I realize that person isn't right for me (I'm actually dealing with that now). As for marriage, being only 21, that is definitely out of the question, at least for the next 5-10 years.

[sum12nv]

im not completely afraid......i wouldnt deny a really great guy because of fear.....yet i do know that if i dont end up marrying the guy (im 22, i dont see marriage anytime soon), ill be heartbroken afterwards......damn love sucks

[hroark]

i def fear comittment - i don't know why, but my record definitely shows that. whether i haven't found the right one or i just can't handle comittment, i don't know. oh well, such is life...

[scaredgirl]

Iam not sure about marriage i have so many issuse about this topic i think in less words yes iam affraid to that comittment

[quanto_magnus]

at one level or another. A true committment like that is really serious...

I certainly have been afraid... Still am in some ways. I've seen too many marriages/relationship gone bad. My parents are still together, but there definitely was a time they shouldn't have been.

I think part of the problem is a lot of people get into committed relationships that they are truely not ready for.... When everything falls apart, they get more gun-shy. I've totally been there.

I think that's why I've been avoiding getting involved lately. Don't want to get into a committment I don't think I can keep....

[Guest bellaragazza]

yeah i'm scared shitless. I run away like a little school girl. lol. But I guess when you meet someone who's right for you at the time you don't have that problem.

I guess I don't want to waste time being with someone who isn't right for me. I'd prefer to be alone

[court877]

I am def afraid of commitment. I'll start gettin close to someone and then get annoying and insecure that they'll leave me and no matter what they say i wont believe them so I just stick to bein a single chick for now until i can handle it, im havin fun for now:D

[randall16]

I definetly fear commitment.....my last boyfriend made me feel that i am not good enuf for anyone...and thats a shitty feeling...relationships have a funny way of working themselves out....but commitment....is a big word......

[peache5030]

I LOVE to be in a committed realtionship...just each other...BUT when the conversation of marraige and kids come up I seem to freak out and start doing stupid shit....

So in some sense of the word I am scared of the permanent committment..not the temporary one...

[xxallottaxx]

F.E.A.R.=

Fuck

Everything

And

Run

Suzie

[tastyt]

Well I just told my boyfriend when we move next month we move apart- so yeah I'd say commitment is pretty frightening.

[pookie23]

Umm...what's committment??

[DJGaryMatthews]

i dont think im afraid of commitment, but instead i actually like it. but because i like it doesnt mean that's what im always lookin for. for a long time, pretty much all throughout high school, i wasnt interested in being serious with any girls, i pretty much just wanted ass, hehe. i had 2 semi-serious relationships after high school, and really enjoyed being in both of them, and i got my heart broken both times also. so i went back into my "playa phase", if that's what ya wanna call it. i just wanted hook-ups, no relationships or commitment. and honestly, it really didnt work out too well. so i settled down with one girl, and its been the greatest 6 months ever. i couldnt be happier with the relationship im in now. now of course, taking it to that next step, marriage, just isnt an issue right now. im not afraid to make that commitment, but i have no interest in it at all....im just wayyyyyyyy too young.

[barvybe]

i think you should be afraid of commitment. commitment means giving up some of yourself for someone else. that should be a little scary. if its not, then it doesn't really mean that much and its probably not a real commitment.

my ex's tell me that i'm a great b/f, but also kind a difficult - i'm totally trustworthy, but also need alot of alone time w/ myself. i'm pretty creative and have a very introspective half to go along with my very social half. so far, i haven't found someone that i really wanted to share all of that with....

i think i will though

[glowgirl]

well I have to tell you guys

I got back with my boyfriend and he realized that i am the one for him

i knew it all along but i was waiting for his cold feet to warm up and they did

we will be engaged by december

I am very very happy finally

Being in love doesnt suck when someone loves you back

its about time im getting old

[fiatmusica]

I don't think its so much that people fear commitment, but they're afraid that they might be giving up something better...its this fear of future regret that really drives people not to commit-

You don't want think that you settled for less and could have done better, otherwise the relationship is doomed...and if you commit out of need rather than love....the relationship is destined to fail.

I get accused of having a Peter Pan complex because I won't commit to anything. But its not about fear....its about not settling for less.

___________________________________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

-Sydney J. Harris, Strictly Personal

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss."

-Jonathan Larson

"Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently."

-Charles Dudley Warner, My Summer in a Garden

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen,

The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"

[SPYGIRL3]

I'm not afraid of committment, I am afraid of having my heart broken.....My best friend has my heart, but he won't break so..... I don't worry...... It's the people you love who runaway with your hopes and dreams that I fear. My parents have been married forever, just like my very close aunts and uncles, and they are still happy. It's the ones who fall into those fleeting moments that scare me

[sinergygrl]

I think I'll always be afraid of getting hurt and things like that, but I have met the right person for me and how I fear about getting hurt doesn't really effect how I feel about being together with him. I'm not too worried about getting married either. You know when the right time is and it takes most of those fears away.