ellinita Posted December 8 Report Share Posted December 8 YOU KNOW YOUR A$$ IS RUSSIAN IF... -1. Your car costs more than your college education -2. Your blood has a permanent vodka content level -3. Any outfit you wear involves leather -4. Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it at a club! -5. Your idea of a love song is a techno song name 'fuk on cocain' -6. Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone -7. Instead of notes during class you write text messages on ya Nokia -8. You come hoosition: form-data; name="message"YOU KNOW YOUR A$$ IS RUSSIAN IF... -1. Your car costs more than your college education -2. Your blood has a permanent vodka content level -3. Any outfit you wear involves leather -4. Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it at a club! -5. Your idea of a love song is a techno song name 'fuk on cocain' -6. Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone -7. Instead of notes during class you write text messages on ya Nokia -8. You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents -9. People are always asking you if you can get them a cheap deal on something... and you prolly can -10. Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy" *blyat idi ti nahu* -11. You know the new line of Nokias 3 months before they come out -12. You can't go to the movies without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki -13. You don't mind family get togethers -14. You try to rap Jme at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents -9. People are always asking you if you can get them a cheap deal on something... and you prolly can -10. Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy" *blyat idi ti nahu* -11. You know the new line of Nokias 3 months before they come out -12. You can't go to the movies without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki -13. You don't mind family get togethers -14. You try to rap Jay Z "Big Pimpin" and think u hard -15. You know all the cops by their first names -16. You know someone who works at a spa -17. You are somehow related to most of the people you know -18. Your tag is either Ponchik, Pelemen or sum other Russian food name -19. You love to rock Versace, AIX and D&G -20. On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the guy tells you to pick up line 3 -21. You drive a Maxima (or, in the EXTREME worse case an Altima) and ya windows are usually tinted to twiay Z "Big Pimpin" and think u hard -15. You know all the cops by their first names -16. You know someone who works at a spa -17. You are somehow related to most of the people you know -18. Your tag is either Ponchik, Pelemen or sum other Russian food name -19. You love to rock Versace, AIX and D&G -20. On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the guy tells you to pick up line 3 -21. You drive a Maxima (or, in the EXTREME worse case an Altima) and ya windows are usually tinted to twice the legal limit so ya gf ALINA, VIKA, KRISTINACHKA, LENA, ANNA, OR MASHA can give u head in a car =) -22. Your Maxima has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back -23. Your Maxima is a 5 speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs. -24. At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shwag... -25. Ya 2nd home is Brighton... im sorry 1st home -26. Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employe of the KGB -27. 50% of girls in Brooklyn gavece the legal limit so ya gf ALINA, VIKA, KRISTINACHKA, LENA, ANNA, OR MASHA can give u head in a car =) -22. Your Maxima has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back -23. Your Maxima is a 5 speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs. -24. At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shwag... -25. Ya 2nd home is Brighton... im sorry 1st home -26. Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employe of the KGB -27. 50% of girls in Brooklyn gave you head -28. The other 50% had sex with you -29. You love to wear turtlenex even though you dont get hickeys -30. You would rather trip on E than smoke weed -31. Your best friend is the same way as you -32. You have been kicked out of Club Boardwalk at least twice for trying to sneak out without paying. -33. You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne). -34. The waitresses at El Greco knows your order even before you say anything. -StRaWbErY ChEeZCaKe PleEz- -35. You met your gir you head -28. The other 50% had sex with you -29. You love to wear turtlenex even though you dont get hickeys -30. You would rather trip on E than smoke weed -31. Your best friend is the same way as you -32. You have been kicked out of Club Boardwalk at least twice for trying to sneak out without paying. -33. You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne). -34. The waitresses at El Greco knows your order even before you say anything. -StRaWbErY ChEeZCaKe PleEz- -35. You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to. -36. You have more than 10 techno CDz in your car -37. Your fav rap song is an old school joint -38. *You smoke parliamentz* (or in the worst case, Marlboro Lights)-39. You know u'r russian if you got 20 speeding, red light, stop sign tickets-40. Everyone you know drives a maxima, altima, bmw or a lex or a benZ -41. Your job is being a promoter -42. Your fav club is Sound Factory -43. Your mom and dads names are ANNA, POLINA, MASHA,and dads name is KALYA, SHASHA,l playing strip durak at the last party you went to. -36. You have more than 10 techno CDz in your car -37. Your fav rap song is an old school joint -38. *You smoke parliamentz* (or in the worst case, Marlboro Lights)-39. You know u'r russian if you got 20 speeding, red light, stop sign tickets-40. Everyone you know drives a maxima, altima, bmw or a lex or a benZ -41. Your job is being a promoter -42. Your fav club is Sound Factory -43. Your mom and dads names are ANNA, POLINA, MASHA,and dads name is KALYA, SHASHA, YASHA, VADIM, or OLEG. -44. When you have sex you are quiet -45. You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home your self). -46. You have 200 techno songs on your computer -47. You drive by the bay 20 times jus to see whose chillin -48. Your boy SASHA hooked up ya connection 2 ya cell phone -49. You date blonds with blue eyes -50. Particularly those who blow da 1st day YASHA, VADIM, or OLEG. -44. When you have sex you are quiet -45. You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home your self). -46. You have 200 techno songs on your computer -47. You drive by the bay 20 times jus to see whose chillin -48. Your boy SASHA hooked up ya connection 2 ya cell phone -49. You date blonds with blue eyes -50. Particularly those who blow da 1st day -51. You can drink 4 shots of vodka straight -52. You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka -53. You know more than 30 Lenas, Annas, Natashas, Mashas, and Vikas -54. You sleep during the day wake up at 11pm and go out -55. You're parent have computer "experience" for 8 years on their resume already, yet they been in US for only 4... -56. You ask people to link you to a russian room -57. You leave school for 2 hours to have a cigarrete -58. You major in computer science or in worst case scenario informatio-51. You can drink 4 shots of vodka straight -52. You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka -53. You know more than 30 Lenas, Annas, Natashas, Mashas, and Vikas -54. You sleep during the day wake up at 11pm and go out -55. You're parent have computer "experience" for 8 years on their resume already, yet they been in US for only 4... -56. You ask people to link you to a russian room -57. You leave school for 2 hours to have a cigarrete -58. You major in computer science or in worst case scenario information systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer). -59. Have a personalized license plate. -60. When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts. -61. Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So kid/bro what are we doing tonight?" -63. If your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough. -64. You introduce yourself with your screename.... -65. Your typical night is movies, dinner and head in da FRn systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer). -59. Have a personalized license plate. -60. When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts. -61. Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So kid/bro what are we doing tonight?" -63. If your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough. -64. You introduce yourself with your screename.... -65. Your typical night is movies, dinner and head in da FRONTSEAT -66. You used to work out but u dont anymore (u just dont have enough time) -67. Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise. -68. Have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex. -69. Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellinita Posted December 8 Author Report Share Posted December 8 My computer is extremely fucked up when it comes to long posts on CP for some reason and it just repeats everything and fucks up the order and format and shit..... arghhh!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted December 8 Report Share Posted December 8 Originally posted by ellinita My computer is extremely fucked up when it comes to long posts on CP for some reason and it just repeats everything and fucks up the order and format and shit..... arghhh!! It is CP... Something is fucked up with the server... And... It fucks up pictures when you upload them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted December 8 Report Share Posted December 8 This would probably be funny if I knew more Russians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incredulous Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 this shit is funny. i know alot of russians and its true to 95% of them(especially my best friend) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruph Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 lol...so true so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruph Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by ellinita YOU KNOW YOUR A$$ IS RUSSIAN IF... -10. Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy" *blyat idi ti nahu* yep thats me alright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattm2o Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 !Good Times! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonathanNYC Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by Ruph yep thats me alright BLYAT THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO TRUE !!!!pizdatzjonathan:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 how about:BrooklynSushia Mole somewhereand finally:you think you da shit but lost the war Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by apotheosis how about:BrooklynSushia Mole somewhereand finally:you think you da shit but lost the war ~~mike im taking this seriosly so dont bother saying take it easy!! i do not! live in brooklynthe mole thing woah!!! u took that too faroh! and what war did we lose??? the cold war?? big whoop!! we won the wwII and napoleon so fuck u!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruph Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by sexxyh ~~mike im taking this seriosly so dont bother saying take it easy!! i do not! live in brooklynthe mole thing woah!!! u took that too faroh! and what war did we lose??? the cold war?? big whoop!! we won the wwII and napoleon so fuck u!! ye you tell him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by sexxyh ~~mike im taking this seriosly so dont bother saying take it easy!! i do not! live in brooklynthe mole thing woah!!! u took that too faroh! and what war did we lose??? the cold war?? big whoop!! we won the wwII and napoleon so fuck u!! I completely agree with you that what was said was a crappy attempt at a hidden dig.......but you did lose the cold war.....and you were only 1/3 of winning WW2......the weakest 1/3Not like I can really talk though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gabo Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 it's all in the name of humor. lets all hug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingartur Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by apotheosis how about:BrooklynSushia Mole somewhereand finally:you think you da shit but lost the war thats all i'm goin to say for now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by apotheosis how about:BrooklynSushia Mole somewhereand finally:you think you da shit but lost the war :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 ~~~Helen, thanks I almost forgot one:Russians get pissed off when there's a joke thread on 'em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tottallyoff Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 idite vi vse nahuy, blyat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingartur Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by apotheosis ~~~Helen, thanks I almost forgot one:Russians get pissed off when there's a joke thread on 'em with ur joke u tried to diss on someone directly, why dont u just say it to that persons face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by kingartur with ur joke u tried to diss on someone directly, why dont u just say it to that persons face What the hell are you talking about??Helen doesnt live in Brooklyn, I have no idea if she likes Sushi or if she does have a mole or not.ahem: I think "WE" were joking personally about these common factors refferring to Whimmit.All of you SHUT IT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingartur Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by apotheosis What the hell are you talking about??Helen doesnt live in Brooklyn, I have no idea if she likes Sushi or if she does have a mole or not.ahem: I think "WE" were joking personally about these common factors refferring to Whimmit.All of you SHUT IT. Don't play stupid, it wasn't even about Helen, u know what u meant and who u were refering to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Originally posted by kingartur Don't play stupid, it wasn't even about Helen, u know what u meant and who u were refering to your friend sexxyme? no dude wasn't talking about her. I was using my past expereinces dating Russian girls.I see where your coming from now, but that simply wasn't the case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rizzo Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 Hey kingartur you giraffe necked slackjaw'd simp, shut your fucking commie mouth up. If you cant take a fucking joke because that oversized Bolshevik melon of yours is so dense due to all the Lenin preaching mom and dad raised you on, then dig up the raft Grandma Zuzana used in the 1800's and paddle your sorry Hammer and Sickle ass back to the fucking Kremlin before I ram a bottle of Stolchynaya vodka up your tight toolbox ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted December 9 Report Share Posted December 9 . . . I would just like to go on record and say that I am not, nor have never been Rizzo . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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