stacychase Posted July 11 Report Share Posted July 11 I know that this has been discussed before, however with so many newbees, I was wondering what everyones opinion is on open relationships.With me if I care for someone, I am not capable of dealing with either of us having sex with others. When I am in a relationship and I am totally in love, I want nobody but that person.Love to hear everyones thoughts!!!------------------Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h2baplaya Posted July 11 Report Share Posted July 11 If you're really "in love," <+~(this term gets thrown around a lot when its not really true) there shouldn't be any messing around with others...when you hook up with different people it is 100% enjoyable but nothing can top hooking up with someone you are absolutely in love with...I was in love once, a long ass time ago, and all the sex since then hasn't been as memorable or satisfying...even though some of the girls may have been wilder in the sack, some even better looking, it does not hold candle to getting it on with someone you love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 sounds like SWINGtime to me!!!!------------------Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long. Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!Aolimer: Glowgirl42000also downtowngirl101Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net/>http://homestead.juno.com/deluca04/BowlofSugar.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divvalicious Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 yes i agree... there is no such thing as an "open relationship" in my book.------------------*~HyPtNoTiZe~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teklord310 Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 I couldn't do it. Personally I do not believe i open relationships. It's just awkward going from one person to the other. It would be nice, but not fair to both parties. But a 3 way is an entirely different story since all 3 parties know about one another. ------------------ "1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21 ....Mathematics is the language of nature" --BTAIM: teklord310 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nitro449 Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 open relationships are ways to ask permission to cheat..........------------------~~all those who dance may enter my life~~keeping the groove alive~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystalmethodny Posted July 16 Report Share Posted July 16 I definitely prefer to love and be with one person as opposed to have an open relationship.Lately though, things just have been open period, AKA single and mingling.------------------"Can you feel it?""In the hall, in the bathroom, in the basement, in the coatcheck... and even up the block, oops!""We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go."CrystalMethodNYC@aol.comwww.extremegroove.comwww.urbanpromos.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starcapone Posted July 16 Report Share Posted July 16 Originally posted by h2baplaya:If you're really "in love," <+~(this term gets thrown around a lot when its not really true) there shouldn't be any messing around with others...when you hook up with different people it is 100% enjoyable but nothing can top hooking up with someone you are absolutely in love with...I was in love once, a long ass time ago, and all the sex since then hasn't been as memorable or satisfying...even though some of the girls may have been wilder in the sack, some even better looking, it does not hold candle to getting it on with someone you lovethat's kewl. seriously i like to hear guys express their emotions. sometimes i think guys don't care about who/what they fuck, they just do it...like Nike..i do want to experience a 3some, but i don't know. if i've found someone i care about i def. don't want to share!!------------------ ~ * i'm like, hey where that Bacardi at..mix it with the Crisp, baby .. what's wrong with that?! * ~ $tarcapone..e.i. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 16 Report Share Posted July 16 *Sigh*- I guess I'm in one now. We've tried it before but never actually got to the point where either of us was dating anyone else- jealousy just got out of hand. We'll see where it goes... It's just another attempt at experimenting to see what works best for us.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
live1 Posted July 16 Report Share Posted July 16 Nope. Couldn't do it. I'd be way too jealous. Who needs that kind of insecurity with someone you're close to? People who have open relationships are probably either afraid of commitment or aren't really in love. Being in a relationship (a true one) takes work and commitment from both parties. Structure. We can't all be out in the world giving out free love all the time - we have to maintain ourselves a little and live among some kind of guidelines or society would be a free for all. Not good. ------------------The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clubbingirl Posted July 16 Report Share Posted July 16 open relationships are dumb. someone always gets hurt in the end. i think, if ya wanna hook up with other people....just do it and don't keep the other one tied.being fuck buddies is a diff story. ------------------EXIT fridays: Use my guestlist-->ESCAPE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shroomy Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 I have some friends who are able to decouple sex and love Not me though. Maybe they are more secure than I am?Whatever happen when both partners are present is a different story though.. (3 somes, 4 somes etc.. )Getting turned on by someone else doesn't mean you don't love the one your with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
partytildawn Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 Asking for an open relationship is like asking to end the relationship. What's the point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted July 24 Report Share Posted July 24 I gave up on love long ago...nowadays...ill settle for breakfest *Cackle*Id burn in hell for eternity...Give up all the orgasmsall the sweaty silk sheetsFor a second of lovea moment to caress her cheeka second to run my fingers through her hair.:fire: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Sounds like a lot of us have been hurt by trying this and finding out it ain't so easy as it looks. I know i have. I really think that its only possible to have an open relationship like that if 1. there are really strong mutual support reasons why you are together as opposed to pure physical / emotional love2. they are two people totally on the same wavelength - it seems odd to me, but i know people like that3. they aren't really in loveI'm not really the jealous type, and have forgiven mistakes and stuff, but when i tried this, it drove me crazy! And I felt like she only agreed because she didn't really love me and shit. It got all fucked up.3's and more together is different, but can still be really tough. Jealousy is a fucked up thing. In my opinion, it really hard to introduce this to a long standing relationship. Start early! Once you've committed alot of yourself to someone and feel like you understand the relationship and it becomes part of your self image, making changes like this are tough in my experience.So, when i'm really with someone, no foolin around without them there too! The best part of being *in love* is sharing this stuff with that person, so going solo with another just makes no sense to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gabo Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 I like the idea of fuck buddies, but What really is the difference between fuck buddies and a open relationship?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Originally posted by gabo I like the idea of fuck buddies, but What really is the difference between fuck buddies and a open relationship?? In an open relationship, there is an actual *relationship*- there is an understanding that what goes on between the two of you takes precedence over whatever extra-curricular activities you engage in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Although I've always been impressed by people who can live such a life and can divide emotional and physical unity from eachother and from their relationship. I for one thing, know that I could never live in an open relationship. It's already hard enough for me to deal with the past relationships of my partner. I know that it's probably my problem as I'm not confident enough and always compare myself to past girlfriends and/or sexual partners. In regards to myself: when I'm in love with someone, he is the most beautiful, hottest and sexiest person on earth for me and I want sex as well as time spend with him 24/7 ...so, no I don't think I would be able to live the active or passive part in an open relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandj Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 if there are feelings involved then it should not be open. i love my boyfriend to death and i know that if we had an open relationship it wouldn't have lasted for the past 2 years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrdick Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 I think that people are failing to make necessary distinctions between different types of non-monogamous relationships.There are no rulesin love. There are all sorts of different people and some of the craziest things actually work wel for certain couples.Bye and Largetruly open relationships are the hardest things to make work. A truly open relationship means that either person can have sexual relationships with other people at anytime. They can also have romantic relationshipsso long as they keep their first partner as their primary partner.The risk of emotional entanglement is huge. This can work for some but you are not playing the odds if you try it. 99 times out of 100 it will result in disaster.Swinging andswapping are a different story. The relationships are entirely sexual. And itspart of an activity that both partners areat. Usually they are in the same room but not always. But always at the same event.Very few people can make menage-a-trois and swinging and swapping work. But the number is still far greater than with open relationships. Swinging definitely sets boundaries and does not tempt fate nealy as much. If you are the kind of person who can do this stuff you will know and it will probably work for you. But most can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
partytildawn Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Originally posted by tastyt In an open relationship, there is an actual *relationship*- there is an understanding that what goes on between the two of you takes precedence over whatever extra-curricular activities you engage in. The relationship is still there, but if you meet someone better the *actual relationship* will be finished. There really isn't any commitment in an open relationship, it's like being single again but you have a backup date if things don't work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Originally posted by partytildawn The relationship is still there, but if you meet someone better the *actual relationship* will be finished. There really isn't any commitment in an open relationship, it's like being single again but you have a backup date if things don't work out. There's *always* the chance that one or both parties could meet someone new and break it off- that's true regardless of what type of relationship you're participating in.Like Mr. Dick said, there aren't any rules in love. Just because monogamy works for one couple doesn't mean it will work for another. In fact, it DOES NOT work for most people- look at the divorce rate! Even in a monogamous relationship one person could meet someone new, and that's it! One old German woman my Mom works with is always chiding Americans for our puritanical mentality. She and her husband loved each other deeply, but still would have the occassional affair; to them it was not a big deal because lust is a part of human nature. The way she spoke of it, it seemed to be fairly common behavior.Maybe, if people were a little more flexible and not so possessive, relationships would have a better chance of lasting. Maybe? I don't know, but for me it's worth a try! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stacychase Posted July 25 Author Report Share Posted July 25 great conversation, keep it coming.as i said to begin this, and open relationship would never work for me. when i am seriously involved with someone and love them, i do not like to share them. it is one thing to have other interests, as long as they are not other interests with someone else sexually.love is a beautiful thing and if more us would learn to embrace it and take care of it when we are blessed with it, i think the divorce rate would be lower and people would be happier. i also believe that everyone out there wants one person to love them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Originally posted by stacychase i also believe that everyone out there wants one person to love them! Oy vey, you wouldn't believe the drama that ensued when I made that comment on the V I P board! The topic was on the sex board, called something like, Is love real?, you should check it out.But anyway, I too think that everyone needs to find a soulmate to complete them. And I do mean everyone! Whether or not that leaves room for anyone else is up to debate (as we're doing now!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stacychase Posted July 25 Author Report Share Posted July 25 are things better between you and yours???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.