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clubgodraver

help i'm in trouble

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ok...i got myself in deep this time. one of my friends recently broke up with his X. and its been a few weeks, so i threw a party last night and i wuz soo drunk. my friends x-gf wuz the last one to leave. well i wuz kissing her g-nite u know like on the cheek and all of a sudden the next thing u kno we're french kissing each other n what not. and somehow my friend knows what happened. today on the phone he asked me if i knew who his x-gf hooked up with. of course i said i had no idea. and we didn't hookup, we just kissed, but those were his words. wtf should i do??? i feel so guilty. i was never going to pursue anything with her because its just wrong and i would feel bad. and i dunno y i started kissing her and fuck i'm fucked people!

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Not to make matters worse but If he still has feelings for her or you guys are like really good friends... YOURE DEAD... cause I know if I found out one of my boys hooked up with my ex, OOOOOOOOOOH child theres gonna be some beatin's not just beatin's but some good old fashioned ass wooopin' take me to jail type shit... regardless of how far you went with her etc...

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Guest bellaragazza

just cause he didnt want her anymore.. doesn't mean nobody can have her

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Originally posted by dgmodel

Not to make matters worse but If he still has feelings for her or you guys are like really good friends... YOURE DEAD... cause I know if I found out one of my boys hooked up with my ex, OOOOOOOOOOH child theres gonna be some beatin's not just beatin's but some good old fashioned ass wooopin' take me to jail type shit... regardless of how far you went with her etc...

well he broke up w/ her, but i think he still has feelings for her. i didn't hook-up with her though...and he's one of my best friends i feel like shit, but the kid couldn't kick my ass so i'm fine as far as that goes. but i don't wanna lose him as a friend...maybe i should...blame it on his x...say she made the move, i was piss drunk, end of story?? or would he not buy that? cuz i was drunk, but i did it consciously.

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Originally posted by clubgodraver

well he broke up w/ her, but i think he still has feelings for her. i didn't hook-up with her though...and he's one of my best friends i feel like shit, but the kid couldn't kick my ass so i'm fine as far as that goes. but i don't wanna lose him as a friend...maybe i should...blame it on his x...say she made the move, i was piss drunk, end of story?? or would he not buy that? cuz i was drunk, but i did it consciously.

Well youre safe on two counts meaning that he broke up with, and that he cant beat your ass... so in any event theres two things you can do... 1 tell him before he finds out.. or 2. gamble on the fact that he never finds out... ( however if they ever get back to together he'll know, and then he'll never trust you again...)theres prolly a lot more better ways to go about it but I cant think of any...

p.s I wish I could help you out better...

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Originally posted by dgmodel

Well youre safe on two counts meaning that he broke up with, and that he cant beat your ass... so in any event theres two things you can do... 1 tell him before he finds out.. or 2. gamble on the fact that he never finds out... ( however if they ever get back to together he'll know, and then he'll never trust you again...)theres prolly a lot more better ways to go about it but I cant think of any...

p.s I wish I could help you out better...

yea well there's really no good option in a situation like this. thanks for your help though. i think i just may have to tell him.

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Fess up. Your friend obviously already knows what happened, lying is only going to make matters worse. And don't use any lame "I was drunk" or "she made me do it!" (cause it takes two to tango, ya know!) excuses. Do the mature thing and own up to your mistake. It's only been a few weeks since the breakup so of course he still has feelings for her. He'll be pissed at first but he'll eventually get over it.

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Fess up to it. You can let him know that being drunk was part of the reason but don't use it as an excuse.

I don't buy into the whole routine about never dating a friend's ex. Imean its unfair to her since it amounts to her ex-boyfriend still controlling her life.

I always strove for a mddleground. You should not do casual things just for pleasure like youdid in french kissing her. But if someone has real feelings for a friend's ex then he should be allowed to pursue them as long as they are upfront about it.

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

It was done on purpose, so don't sweat it. It's mot like you went looking for her or anything. It was an innocent kiss.

innocent maybe but its morally wrong... thats your boys exgirlfriend. End of Story... With so many different people out there why go after your friends girls / guys? leave 'em alone...

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you should talk to the girlfriend about it first and let her know that it was a big mistake, you're sorry and you're going to tell your friend.

then call up your friend. you sound so upset and sorry about it in your posts that you must be genuine about this and it should come through. don't use the alcohol as an excuse and just fall on the sword for it. he may be really pissed for a little bit, but if he's really a good friend and you really mean the appology, he'll come around.

BTW, IMO you can date a friend's ex, but only if its going to be serious because to keep your friend he has to realize that you take his friendship seriously so there must be a really good reason for dating his ex.

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Originally posted by dgmodel

innocent maybe but its morally wrong... thats your boys exgirlfriend. End of Story... With so many different people out there why go after your friends girls / guys? leave 'em alone...

i had no intention of going after my friends x-gf nor was i tryng to pursue any relationship or hook up w/ her...i went to kiss her g-nite, like a friendly kiss on the cheek and it just fuckin happened i dunno.

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you sound so upset and sorry about it in your posts that you must be genuine about this and it should come through.

thanks :) i just gotta find a good time to tell him. i'm not sure if he knows it was me...cuz when he called me up he asked me if i knew who "hooked-up" (which we didn't) w/ his x. i was thiking maybe his x told him that she hooked up w/ someone that night just to get him jealous. another problem is that she just went away on vacation, so no pt. in waiting any longer cuz it will only make things worse.

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All this moral and pc garbage is just that, garbage.

I got one good advice for you. Which you'll probably follow anyways.

Deny, deny, deny.

Your friendship will never be the same again if you tell him what happened. Believe me, he'll always have that in his head. And there forever be a part of him that won't trust you the same again.

If he confronts you about it (assuming she tells him). Think of something clever. Like she is just lying because she wants to hurt him. And what better way to hurt your ex if not by getting with his best friend.

If you deny it to the end, even if he believes her over you, he will always have a doubt, - "what if she is lying."

But you mustn't change the way you act around him. Even if he surprises you out of now where and confronts you.

You made a mistake, now don't make another by telling him, and hurting him.

Got it? Alright.:idea:

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you know i was in some kinda situation like this before... my boy wanted to kick it to her... like he was telling he.. she is the one and all this other crap.. for some strang reason.. the first time i meet her.. she didnt really appeal to me... at the end of that night, we exchanged screennames and when i was at work... we got bored typng and we exchanged numbers, we called each other, and next thing you know.. i was making out with her... then lead to other tings.. but to end it off (cuz i felt soo guilty) after 2 weeks into this hot and heavy type thing... i never told my boy, and he just forgot about it, and he moved on... but then again he didnt even had a clue... but make a right decision, cuz sometimes i think of her, and i miss her alot... i was at the point, maybe like 1 year ago.. where i wanted to get back with her, and we made out... and i dunno it felt good for me, but she told me she was with someone, and i just backed off... but shes married now, so i really cant doi much at this point... BUT she is probably still the only one i would have married at the point lastyear...

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Originally posted by DimaNYC

All this moral and pc garbage is just that, garbage.

I got one good advice for you. Which you'll probably follow anyways.

Deny, deny, deny.

Your friendship will never be the same again if you tell him what happened. Believe me, he'll always have that in his head. And there forever be a part of him that won't trust you the same again.

If he confronts you about it (assuming she tells him). Think of something clever. Like she is just lying because she wants to hurt him. And what better way to hurt your ex if not by getting with his best friend.

If you deny it to the end, even if he believes her over you, he will always have a doubt, - "what if she is lying."

But you mustn't change the way you act around him. Even if he surprises you out of now where and confronts you.

You made a mistake, now don't make another by telling him, and hurting him.

Got it? Alright.:idea:

with all due respect, this is the least desirable situation to create. don't lie. if you lie and he finds out later, you have hell to pay (and your reputation is damaged with the rest of your friends, everyone takes sides etc). think about it for a few days, examine your true feelings about why this happened (is he really that good of a friend? are you secretly attracted to her and want to see more of her? or are you just a big schmuck that has learned a valuable lesson about boundaries and the value of friendship?) and make a decision. if you decide to tell him, tell him that you needed time to "process the information" and weigh it all out before you could have an adult conversation with him. tell him you needed time to make sure you approached it the right way. you're entitled to that. geez, it wasn't something you needed to talk about the day after the party when you had a hangover and the ashtrays were still overflowing w/ butts and the trash can was full of stinky beer bottles. you needed time to clear your mind. good luck!

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damn go figure I found the high school message board, but it's simple, How long have you known him? if your good friends then you don't do it or else you deserve a beating since that's what you need. Secondly a kiss is nothing and shouldn't be considered anything. Thirdly I'm sure she's just a pig anyways so forget about it and I'm sure your friendship with him is more important. Just call me the love doctor, can't you just feel all the kindness in me

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:D

Man I love lesbians...

*Cackle*

"Remember when someone pisses you off it takes over

50 muscels in your face to frown...

but only 4 muscles to extend your arm

and bitchslap the fucker upside the head."

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