honeymunch Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 The advantages of looking good, whether by natural beauty or dressing up nice, are obvious; one feels good, can attract attention, and sometimes gets better treatment. However, I am wondering what does everyone think about the other implications of beauty. Has it caused problems for anyone personally, or do you know anyone with problems that you think are a result of his/her physical attractiveness? I know I can get some great responses here, because I've seen pictures that prove many of the people on this board are very attractive, and in the clubbing scene you are surrounded by beautiful people. So please give your opinion, experiences, or observations on this; I'm very interested to know. Your response wouldn't commit you to vanity; everyone has had experiences directly or indirectly related to their physically attractive features. One of the reasons for my interest in this is a friend who is beautiful. Or she could be. She's anorexic and has been in and out of the hospital. She had plastic surgery at the age of 16 (paid for by her father). She used to do some modeling and always had guys drooling after her. she has been raped twice, the first time when she was 12. She is constantly paranoid as to if she looks good enough to see anyone or even step out of the house. I think this is a complex she has developed over the years as everyone always responds to her beauty before anything else.Any thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 Just a couple of thoughts.....I find it to be unattractive when people toot their own horn too much. If someone is pleasing to the eye it's obviously apparent and we don't need to be told by that person how gorgeous they are - we can see this for ourselves. Also, someone who may not be drop-dead gorgeous can become so to others upon getting to know that person if they are beautiful inside. There are people who believe they are so "hot" and march around whining about how they can't meet anyone b/c of their outrageous good looks (b/c of course people are initimidated by them...) These types of people drive me nuts!------------------ Boink like a bunny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fou Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 I find it to be unattractive when people toot their own horn too much. totally agree. The only thing that I feel I can control is my attitude. I have no idea if people precieve me to be good looking or not, and I dont care. I know I am not a bad looking person, but I didnt ask to look the way i do thats just way it is.Being raped is serious and I am sure has something to do with the way she feels. especially at 12 in the developement yrs.------------------ <A HREF="/cgi-bin/redir.cgi?url=http://www.pharaoh1.com/images/pharaoh.gif" TARGET=_blank>http://www.pharaoh1.com/images/pharaoh.gif</A>[This message has been edited by kingpharaoh (edited 12-06-2000).][This message has been edited by kingpharaoh (edited 12-06-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jprutig Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 i have found that the 'pretty' people in the world are the ones who are missing the point. they are the ones who are caught up in all the fake, pretentious things that many people spend their lives chasing.i have also found ou that the 'not so pretty' people are the ones who are at peace with themselves. they understand and appreciate the real, finer things in life. they don't spend their lives chasing a 'look' they aren't fake. they don't care to impress. they are happy with who they are, and they like who they are. they look in the mirror and see who they really are. not some well dressed, brainless person who thinks and acts what they see on tv or hear someone else say.i think beauty has many downfalls. it can distracting and disheartneing because society pushes on us the notion that in order to be a beautiful person, you have to be physically beautiful - and that's the biggest lie going. and the biggest shame is that are those who are lucky enough to have both, and don't even see it.------------------you can judge the quality and content of one's character by the way they treat someone that can do nothing for them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 I have to also add that an ex once said to me that no matter how good looking you are you should remember that there's always going to be someone out there who's better looking!! I think he had a point!------------------ Boink like a bunny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shugabooga Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 she was raped TWICE? nobody should be that unlucky!!! being raped ONCE is enough to change someone for a long time, and maybe enough to impact them for life, but to be raped twice has got to be devastating. because she was raped, she's probably overly sensitive to attention from strangers, which she gets because she is beautiful. it's a complex issue for someone young, hurt and confused like she is. she needs a lot of TLC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinedancer Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 Have you ever seen a really beautiful man or woman and then tried to have a conversation with them but nobody was home? Looks can only get you so far in life........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kramadas Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 Originally posted by honeymunch:The advantages of looking good, whether by natural beauty or dressing up nice, are obvious; one feels good, can attract attention, and sometimes gets better treatment. However, I am wondering what does everyone think about the other implications of beauty. Has it caused problems for anyone personally, or do you know anyone with problems that you think are a result of his/her physical attractiveness? I know I can get some great responses here, because I've seen pictures that prove many of the people on this board are very attractive, and in the clubbing scene you are surrounded by beautiful people. So please give your opinion, experiences, or observations on this; I'm very interested to know. Your response wouldn't commit you to vanity; everyone has had experiences directly or indirectly related to their physically attractive features. One of the reasons for my interest in this is a friend who is beautiful. Or she could be. She's anorexic and has been in and out of the hospital. She had plastic surgery at the age of 16 (paid for by her father). She used to do some modeling and always had guys drooling after her. she has been raped twice, the first time when she was 12. She is constantly paranoid as to if she looks good enough to see anyone or even step out of the house. I think this is a complex she has developed over the years as everyone always responds to her beauty before anything else.Any thoughts?I'm really, really sorry for your friend (for being raped twice). I guess you have one disadvantage of beauty right there (for women)...sometimes just too much unwanted attention from men. I agree with most of the people here that people who toot their horn too much are "unattractive", as are people who are too snobbish/have attitude. However, to their defense I also have to say that beauty (esp women) does attract a LOT of unwanted attention, and I can only imagine that this can become tiring after a while. THus, sometimes people are so frustrated that they turn to acting like bitches/assholes to avoid this problem. Of course, this is all speculation - also I don't condone this behaviour - I'm sure there are other ways to handle this. ------------------Raving is a state of mind.It has nothing to do with what you wear, how old you are or how you look.Its all about the vibe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a12345 Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 1. Ugly people have more meaningful + fulfilling relationships. And ususally have more interesting things to say and interseting personalities. 2. Beautiful people have tons of superficial relationships - tons of phony friends, sex buddies, sugar daddies/mommies - 3. If someone likes you because only for your looks - that's same thing as someone liking you just because you are rich. BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP. About RAPE - that's definitely gonn a effect her self image and how she acts around men. I used to dress like a bag lady at one point becasue I didn't want ANY attention from men ..LOL ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 Originally posted by raver_mania: I'm really, really sorry for your friend (for being raped twice). I guess you have one disadvantage of beauty right there (for women)...sometimes just too much unwanted attention from men. I agree with most of the people here that people who toot their horn too much are "unattractive", as are people who are too snobbish/have attitude. However, to their defense I also have to say that beauty (esp women) does attract a LOT of unwanted attention, and I can only imagine that this can become tiring after a while. THus, sometimes people are so frustrated that they turn to acting like bitches/assholes to avoid this problem. Of course, this is all speculation - also I don't condone this behaviour - I'm sure there are other ways to handle this. I'm not talking about people who have a bitchy attitude b/c of their good looks, though I agree with you on that note. I'm talking about people who are forever going on about how hot they are...I think it's an ugly quality to boast about how gorgeous you think you are. Self-confidence is fine, but a boastful attitude is just annoying!! ------------------ Boink like a bunny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artful Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 Originally posted by honeymunch:The advantages of looking good, whether by natural beauty or dressing up nice, are obvious; one feels good, can attract attention, and sometimes gets better treatment. However, I am wondering what does everyone think about the other implications of beauty. Has it caused problems for anyone personally, or do you know anyone with problems that you think are a result of his/her physical attractiveness? I know I can get some great responses here, because I've seen pictures that prove many of the people on this board are very attractive, and in the clubbing scene you are surrounded by beautiful people. So please give your opinion, experiences, or observations on this; I'm very interested to know. Your response wouldn't commit you to vanity; everyone has had experiences directly or indirectly related to their physically attractive features. One of the reasons for my interest in this is a friend who is beautiful. Or she could be. She's anorexic and has been in and out of the hospital. She had plastic surgery at the age of 16 (paid for by her father). She used to do some modeling and always had guys drooling after her. she has been raped twice, the first time when she was 12. She is constantly paranoid as to if she looks good enough to see anyone or even step out of the house. I think this is a complex she has developed over the years as everyone always responds to her beauty before anything else.Any thoughts?that's not 'beauty.' sounds like a mental prob to me... yo ugly chicks get raped too.Being beautiful don't mean squat... gives you a nice bonus on first meeting someone... increases your charisma. That's all. You can be beautiful and a fool... then what?------------------ <I'm a Fire-starter><Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!!> <I got the glow, baby!!Can ya feel it?!? Now back up and give me some dancin' room!!>--- When the Artful speaks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampienyc10 Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 Originally posted by peeps:i have found that the 'pretty' people in the world are the ones who are missing the point. they are the ones who are caught up in all the fake, pretentious things that many people spend their lives chasing.i have also found ou that the 'not so pretty' people are the ones who are at peace with themselves. they understand and appreciate the real, finer things in life. they don't spend their lives chasing a 'look' they aren't fake. they don't care to impress. they are happy with who they are, and they like who they are. they look in the mirror and see who they really are. not some well dressed, brainless person who thinks and acts what they see on tv or hear someone else say.i think beauty has many downfalls. it can distracting and disheartneing because society pushes on us the notion that in order to be a beautiful person, you have to be physically beautiful - and that's the biggest lie going. and the biggest shame is that are those who are lucky enough to have both, and don't even see it.Just a question for ya..how would you clssify a "pretty" and a "not so pretty" person?------------------AIM vampie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 I'd say some disadvantages to beauty are:1. Unwanted attention from men, which can turn quite rude, when you're non-responsive to their catcalls.2. People tend to assume that you are: dumb, snobbish, conceited, narcissistic, golddigging, and etc.3. For women (I don't know how men react): Girls on the street and in clubs give me somewhat dirty to very dirty looks all the time. Because they know nothing about me from the 5 seconds they laid eyes on me and found out of my existence, I can only wonder if it is because they see me as a beautiful woman with whom they think they have to compete. Ridiculous!!! The way I see it, if you are so lucky to be goodlooking, you should first thank your mom and dad (as I do all the time!). You should see your looks as yet another asset with which to work. That means that your personality, intellect, wit, sense of humor, and etc. should be developed, and you shouldn't think that your looks make you better than anyone.To Peeps, Shinedancer and a12345: Just to let you know... I've known butt ugly people who were pretentious egotistical narcissists, and I've known goodlooking people who appreciate their gift, and understand that it is not everything. I'm not trying to start drama, but one disadvantage of beauty is that there are many people such as yourselves, who hold negative assumptions about people who are beautiful. Yes, I agree that many of the stereotypes may be true about a good number of the beautiful people, but it'd be nice if sometimes people would take the time to find out that not all of us are on high horses.------------------ Peace Love Happiness y'all DivaliciousNYC@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandie Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 well i agree with the "beauty is only skin deep" and other statements, i think that it is unfair to say that good-looking people are hard to deal with.some of you say, have you ever tried talking to a really good looking person and there was nobody home? well how about the good looking people that you talk to that are intelligent, witty, and personable, that just happen to be attractive?i cannot deal with people who say how good looking they are all the time - because beauty is a gift, just like being able to paint is. There are many negative drawbacks to being good-looking, as a woman. I know that people always say all they want is a lil smile, but if you're out and you smile in the direction of a man, he immediately comes over to talk to you. You were jsut being friendly, but the amount of attention that is drawn to you because you are good looking makes things hard. And there's always the fact that people will be attracted to you only for your looks, and not care about the inner you - sorry to say, but one day looks will fade, and will you still be able to love that person? what if something devasting happens to that beauitful person, and leaves them only beautiful on the inside? will you be able to stay with them? That's what i love about my relationship with Rob - i started talking to him before I ever physically met him, so I knew that he liked me for who I am, not what I look like. I'd rather have a guy remark on my intelligence or humor any day than tell me "you're beautiful." cause that's really not at all what matters.Stereotypes like the ones that have been stated above, and many others are also things good-looking people have to deal with. Like saying someone only gets a job b/c of his/her looks. i don't know . . . it just seems like people really need to get past the outside and look on the inside. Beautiful people are not only beautiful on the outside, they may be just as wonderful on the inside. People need to take the chance to get to know that. I'm not saying that there aren't lots of people that lack personality, etc - but then again, there are plenty of people that are "less attractive" that have the same lousy personalities and attitudes.luv,brandie ------------------"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.""To love someone is something..to be loved by someone is something else..but to be loved by the one you love is everything.." Rob&Brandie AAF loves2cox@netscape.net AIM: loves2cox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happykittn Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 There are people who believe they are so "hot" and march around whining about how they can't meet anyone b/c of their outrageous good looks (b/c of course people are initimidated by them...) These types of people drive me nuts!Ugh... same here... and aren't they always featured on some trashy talk show or another? ------------------The purpose of life? To die young as late as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeymunch Posted December 7 Author Report Share Posted December 7 Originally posted by uknjx2:Just a couple of thoughts.....I find it to be unattractive when people toot their own horn too much. If someone is pleasing to the eye it's obviously apparent and we don't need to be told by that person how gorgeous they are - we can see this for ourselves. Also, someone who may not be drop-dead gorgeous can become so to others upon getting to know that person if they are beautiful inside. There are people who believe they are so "hot" and march around whining about how they can't meet anyone b/c of their outrageous good looks (b/c of course people are initimidated by them...) These types of people drive me nuts!uknjx2, I know what you mean. I see it in some people too. It seems like they feel too good for anyone, have an attitude, and blame their being alone for being intimidatingly hot, instead of shallow and arrogant. They forget that appearance is not the most important thing, either for themselves or others Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jolie1 Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 I that people can say that beautiful people are shallow and can be bitchy but that is not always true. I modeled for three years and some of the most beautiful people i met were also some of the most wonderful people. Just as some beautiful people are assholes, some ugly people are assholes too.Love,Jolie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeymunch Posted December 7 Author Report Share Posted December 7 about my friend being raped, it is a terrible thing. the first time was an older boyfriend. the second time, years later, an acquaintance she went on a date with. it has crossed my mind that if she has received such negative attention because of her appearance, then wouldn't she NOT try to look great all the time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iggster Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 good looking people tend you have less of a personality.they get everywher based on their looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyco Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 Okay.....have to drop a little knowledge here.......let me take a different angle than everyone else even though I agree with everyone so far.......First, in my opinion, any advantage or disadvantage people have due to their inner or outer beauty is rendered completely by their own actions......what I mean is, however they treat that beauty and utilize it in a social setting towards others is what creates these advantages and disadvatages.......Keeping that in mind, I think inner and outer beauty are both products of 1) inherited traits, and 2) acquired traits.......First let's consider outer beauty......it is obviously something that nobody has full control over as you can not choose your generic traits or what not.......however, by taking care of yourself physically (I don't mean plastic surgery either) and retaining your self-respect can earn people more beauty then they were otherwise dealt at birth.......I hope you understand what I'm saying so far.......now on to inner beauty.......I feel that it is about half inherited and half acquired.......when I say inherited I don't mean genetics but rather that someone's personality is founded partially on things they never had control over......things such as the way they were disciplined growing up(if at all), the people that have surrounded them throughout their lives, the way they have been treated by others, etc........these things are hardly in the control of a person at an early age but I feel they are the foundation of one's personality until they begin to really learn about themselves and about life itself.........now whatever personality traits are gained from these external forces if you will become intertwined with the pieces of personality that one eventually chooses to adopt......what I mean is that people can ultimately decide what type of person they want to be.....if you want to be an arrogant prick, that's easy or if you want to be a very generous, caring person, just be that person.....it's really that simple.......the problem arises when these choices, whether good or bad, clash with those lingering traits that one picked up throughout their life due to uncontrolled outside factors i.e. inherited traits........In the end, it is really up to a person whether or not they want to be at a disadvantage or not due to their beauty, inside or out......I personally only focus on my personality......whatever physical traits I've been dealt from my parents or god or whoever, I let them alone and leave the rest up to the people who want to judge me.......mainly because, while other's peoples' opinion is important to me, it is never going to make me act in any way different than I normally would......it's when people begin to judge themselves physically that they begin to act out of tune........think about it, if people can't stand the way they look, they go crazy trying so hard to look good(e.g. plastic surgery) and if people think they do look soooo good, they're only breeding arrogance even if it's in a small degree........the disadvantages everyone has talked about come in to play at that point......back to inner beauty, with that......you really have something special.......firstly, it can go much further than outer beauty and it's everlasting........you can get sick of looking at the same person everyday no matter how beautiful they are but I don't think too many people get tired of one with a golden personality.......to sum it up, build yourself from the inside out and you will be a better individual........become a real person, don't paint pictures.......thanks peeps.Wow, I apologize to anyone who just read that novel.....I get a bit carried away at time and I know I flew off the subject a bit but I hope it was worth something.......I tried to be as subjective as possible.....lolMikey------------------"If there are two of us, I will gladly bite it in half....." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rounders Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 Narcisim, and vanity are too very sensitive topics. I believe it is important to have a healthy self confidence about your body, as well as your mind. However, when taken to extremes the end result is usaully self diluasion. In short, the world would be a better place if we did not need to worry about happiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
safitamace319 Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 vampie you asked to define what pretty is? well for me as far as guys are concerned. i dunno what to say, but for me it's like this. you dont' have to be mr. GQ mr generic all americna model type, however you must have a quality or qualities that is attractive to ME. as for me, i like guys who look ethnic-greek/italian, fair skin, dark hair, etc. but you dont have to be considered a hottie by all, just by me, you have to have somthing exotic about you, and a great personality, because as beauty is only skin deep, if you're an ass, give me a few days, i'll start to see you as ugly. so that is my take on pretty.. one man's gorgeous is another man's attractive, but not yummy. (thanks for that one mikey lol) so that is my take on things. just my $1.00------------------"Well you think i'd leave ya lonely... you know me better than that... if you'd think i'd leave you down when your down on your knees... well i wouldnt do that.. you're so much better than you know..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Dagger Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 The disadvantages are obvious. Whether you're a bitch/dick or not, If you're good looking, people will be jealous. That can lead to many undesireable situations.------------------ SICKTRACKS.COM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Dagger Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 I find that most of the assholes out there are ugly. They are probably pissed off at the world that they are ugly. Hahha, I guess the joke's on them. Losers. Originally posted by jolie1:I that people can say that beautiful people are shallow and can be bitchy but that is not always true. I modeled for three years and some of the most beautiful people i met were also some of the most wonderful people. Just as some beautiful people are assholes, some ugly people are assholes too.Love,Jolie------------------ SICKTRACKS.COM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k_car Posted December 7 Report Share Posted December 7 Mikey (tyco) - That was beautiful man. I think I'm gonna cry... *sniff*------------------ *************************I've got more girls on my tip than a human shish-ka-bob!************************* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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