shlonger

I think you are confusing lust for fear. Maybe, one day, you'll be lucky enough to GIT IT from one of us.

You know what, you're right. What was I thinking? Probably one of those moments where my tired state overwhelmed my thought process. Back to reality. Riding said I was a lot cuter than some guy!!! I always suspected his passion for the "alternative" lifestyle.

Who has supplanted KostaP on the Donkey Punch List? I have a few suggestions I'll pm to you.

Leave him alone. I'm sure his rage just got the better of him. Don't know the guy, but after reading the post, thought he was a dick. At least he attempted to apologize. It's black and white. You either accept it or you don't. Don't make an ass out of him for doing so. I would've just left off by airing all your dirty laundry. He's a better guy than I am, but I'M BETTER LOOKING.

Yes everyone, as always, it was nice to see/meet me. Consider it a revelation. Once again, I could not pry myself away from the mirror by the bar. Actually I did once, but only because I knew the bathroom had mirrors too. Angelicious: GUIDETTE, thanks to your deepthroating of my finger (Brian1500 can vouch), and your epilepsy, I'm missing part of it. Also, tell your friend if she touches my crotch again, expect the act to be reciprocated. Donkeys, you rule. DBoy, u crazy fuck. Can't believe they let you out of the psychiatric ward for the night. I heard that NJ Stacked broke you out without the use of any tools. I witnessed his brut strenght last night as he lifted and held my car up so that I can change my flat. He said the jack would take too much time. Like a bison I tell you. D-Bitch, I saw the fear in the eyes of everyone when you passed them. They all turned yellow, and stopped breathing for a bit. Looked like they saw a ghost. KostaP, you're lucky we had the donkeys sedated. Word got out that you would be around, since you are THE ORIGINAL MR. METRO or whatever the fuck you call it, and dogekid and I took it upon ourselves to slip sedatives in the rounds we bought for the donkeys. Riding, the donkeys seem to be instilling fear into others without any reference to you or your meatiness. In our eyes, you are still a guido, and that guido burns deep in you. Fury, whack job. Kid's everywhere, knows everyone. I think I saw him giving ericone the hubba hubba dance owed to him for being chosen hottie of the month. Digga, that was the worse smell I've ever experienced dude. Time to change your deodorant, cologne, whatever... Just take care of it. Badass, u one badassmafucka. Sry about not being able to fight those chics off of u last night. Dogekid and I were being groped as well. Will be at Supper Club tomorrow for a little while followed by some pangea, suede, or lotus. Am I seeing any CP heads tomorrow????

Hey shortbus, take care of my light work for me (this diesel character). A little busy right now... See you at Retro Shlongro tonite.

Hey shortbus, take care of my light work for me (this diesel character). A little busy right now... See you at Shlongro tonite.

Stop lying, his real name is JALUFA (Ja-looo-fa)

Oh, tis true my fellow CP members, but his collection is missing one now. Poor Ragnar. See my post: Neighborhood is shocked as Riding...

Hey, I feel left out!!! Being one of the top 10 CP studs (dogekid, badass, donkeys, roddigga, and riding rounding out the top 10 in no particular order), I have anointed myself SOLARSHLONG. Dogekid has become DoinSolarDogeStyleKid. Riding, I like rdnsinglesolarchic. Digga, how about SolarOnRod'sDigga.

To that, I give you a big HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

What's up, no love for the shlong???? Here's my proposal: A Shlonger 500 (a la Houston 500), where I get to please 500 of CP's finest females. While the females wait their turn, badass, dogekid, shortbus, and donkeyboy will be performing various orgasm inducing sexual acts to keep them wet. I will be conducting comprehensive background checks and blood/std examinations for interested female members (with the exception of KostaP). Applications are available via pm.

WERD SON, WERD!

Rutherford- Last night, a young man requesting to be identified as Diesel, was enjoying an evening at his Rutherford home when a quiet evening soon turned into a homosexual/bestial rampage. It all began when a noise complaint by a neighbor was called in. The neighbor claimed Diesel allegedly screamed out,"Oh baby, stuff it harder!" to the point where their windows cracked from high pitched yelps coming from the Diesel residence. It was also reported that the dog at one point began synchronous barking until its vocal cords snapped. Another complaint was made when Diesel left the house naked to buy a box of condoms, telling an elderly passerby that "Me, Spot and my dad broke them all." He then requested the elderly woman, who was walking her dog at the time, give him a ride to the local 7-11 since they were using their dad's muffler for reasons which he could not discuss. When the woman refused, Diesel proceeded to engage in bestiality with the dog, stating "I can't wait any longer." The dog has been identified as a Mexican Chihuahua, and is now at Bergen Veterinary Hospital undergoing treatment for anal lacerations. At that time, Rutherford Police arrived at the scene and continued to arrest Diesel for charges of indecent exposure, incest, and animal cruelty. When told of this, Diesel offered homosexual acts of an unreported nature to a young officer in an attempt to bribe the rookie cop . The officer almost accepted, but declined when they found no prophylactics. The officer has been identified as Diesel's cousin. Diesel and his dad were also caught engaging in oral sex in their holding cell at Rutherford Police deparment, and additional charges will be added during their court appearance .

displays signs of flagrant homosexuality (Reported by the Daily Shlong): NEW JERSEY - "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Rdntheshortbus told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Robert Wood Johnson Hospital. Rdntheshortbus, and homosexual partner "Kiki", had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up the rectum and slipped Ragnar , our gerbil, in," explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that Kiki had enough. I tried to retrieve Ragnar but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Rdntheshortbus's hair and severely burning Rdntheshortbus's face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Rdntheshortbus suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Kiki suffered first and second degree burns to the anus and lower intestinal tract.

I can provide a sticky looking at the picture in your sig.

That's everyday for me... HAVE YOU SEEN MY GUNS??? I think there should be one day of the year where everyone can use the weapon of their choice. Like mischief night with a twist. It could be the day before easter... like a pre-easter egg hunt. Everyone's a target. Dead women, children, and geriatrics are redeemable for cash.

forgot to add one... 12. Lose a CP football game to North Jersey? You didn't have a shot anyway. The only shot you have should be aimed at your head.

Brooklyn Pizza in Ridgewood and Hackensack... Good ish. But nothing compares to Joe's on the corner of Carmine and Bleeker. Next time you're in the city, check it out. I've taken the ride and paid the toll just for that pizza. Then there's John's which is a close 2nd. -Pizza Aficionado

c'mon bro... i'd like to think i'm more creative than that.

Thinking about suicide but you're not sure if it's the right thing to do? Here are some tips to help you decide whether or not killing yourself is a good choice: 1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and/or do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear. 2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it. 3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison. 4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do. 5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 'S' and ends in 'UICIDE'. 6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing. 7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal. 8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains. 9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you? 10. Do you spend your time reading every post on this site? You're a loser, and have too much free time on your hands. What's that? You're at work, and have nothing to do. This site helps you pass the time? That's because they won't give you anything to do because they recognize you are as sharp as a basketball. Sign your donor card, camp out in the corner of your garage, turn the car on, and connect a hose from the muffler to your nose. 11. College application get rejected? Take the hint. Hope you found this post helpful... mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.

Donkeywhore, As much as we appreciate your attempt at a merger, I cannot solely determine whether it will be best for both the donkeys and the alliance to form one empire. We have to explore and understand whether this merger is synergistically sound and beneficial to both groups. The alliance will be proud to hear your denouncement of that gay logo (A/X). It is for trailer park trash who are trying to hide their hand. Remember this summer all those sleeveless shirts with the A/X on front and the '02 in back... We saw a bunch of them in Belmar. I felt like the white ones were the home team, and the black ones were the away team. I became so frustrated with seeing those shirts that I refused to put those letters in words for 3 weeks. This practice, of course, didn't go over too well with the readers of my research. They began questioning my abilities and intelligence. For example, this is how this sentence was typed during that 3 week span: For emple, this is how this sentence ws typed during tht 3 week spn. The donkeys need to stop shopping at the mall. Why go to the mall, when the mall can come to you? I have had Jean Paul Gaultier and Helmut Lang runway shows in my bedroom just because I thought about buying a shirt. I didn't even have to get out of bed. You are on pace to achieve similar high profile status. I have met you donkeys, and I must say the force is strong in you guys. As for Gropasaurus and the rest of the Alliance, they have boycotted Jersey because they grew very tired of all the riff raff that's associated with it. I, however have developed a fan base in this state, and hate to disappoint. I'm sure you can agree with their position on this, but its city lounges and global domination {as there are trips to brazil (carneval), south beach, and vegas in the next 5 months} for the Alliance. I know some of the donkeys enjoy the city as well, so we can further discuss this possible merger at Lotus or suite 16 on thursday. As for Riding and dogekid, they are being silently recruited as primary enforcers (ooops, there goes that surprise), although they've been tabbed GUIDOS.

Anyone need a bumper?

Have to agree with you/them on that. What board are they at now?

Here are the teams I've derived: CP Contenders QB Shlonger RB Dogekid/Badass FB Riding WR Donkeyboy/roddigga WR Notallthere/piro8 TE ou812 OL stiffler, donkeydrone, and thehype Our gameplan... take turns sacking their QB. Playing a bump and run man coverage, and showing many different blitz packages with a 3-4 front against CP Pretenders QB Solargirl RB Stardo/Deelite FB Hunnie WR Siciliagirl/perns WR Angelicious/mystify TE KostaP OL they get no line