georgym Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 This may sound a little weird, but i just can't seem to do it...She's all busy with school, but i've graduated. Now I've gotta fill in the void, BUT WITH WHAT?/? It's like, EVERYWHERE i go, i see her. And i always bring her up in conversations with my friends, i think they're starting to get annoyed...It's just hard for me to focus on something without having talked with her for a day. I worry and concern, and hope nothing bad happened to her. She says i should focus on myself more, BUT HOW?/?I don't want to be one of those obsessive/compulsive types, but it's not good when i call her 70% of the time... HELP ME~embarrased smurf:cry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 are you still going out with her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 Bro, I got almost the exact same situation as you in terms of me being graduated and her still being in school.Check out my post on the sex board On The Rebound........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted October 8 Author Report Share Posted October 8 Originally posted by trancend are you still going out with her? yes, trans, it's been a year last week, and we still have a good time together... in fact, we went out last friday to a couple of bars in the city with some friends...it's just hard cause now, after we've been together 4 a while, she thinks we need to spend less time on the phone, and get more things done for ourselves (WHADEVER THAT MEANS)and also, i think she wants to run the show now... as in, whatever she says, goes... I'm just confused cause we used to sleep together, we used to talk every day, now she wants to sleep in diff. beds and keep phone calls to once every other day...i see the reason in her argument, but damn, i feel like we've been going out for a week, not a year- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel8c Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 You know, focusing on yourself is s good thing. Women dislike dependant men. I should know. I mean what happends if you guys break up? I know you are a good kid and love her a lot, but women do not look at it that way. I mean one minute she can love you, the next minute you are a stalker for not letting her go. Build independance for yourself and noone else. For some girls, a focused independant man is as sexy as a great looking man with a 3 pound cock.Choose yourself. If you act insecure you will lose her. Wear the pants for Christ sake. And stop wackin off to porn all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 smoke weed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xkingchangox Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 It seems like you may have one of two problems either A-you are suffering from separation anxiety and this change in your lifestyle or B- things with your girlfriend are starting to end and she just isn't strong enough to just break it off in one shot so she wants to have you in small doses.However my advice is simple either way the more you chase after someone the further and farther from you they will go. I think that as hard as it maybe for you try to respect her wishes.Also if you cant control self start to consider your relationship being over.This whole thing that you have mentioned about every other day and so on just doesn't jive to good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kludgio Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 i can understand where your gf is coming from. right now, my bf and i spend all of our time together, as soon as we're done with work and classes. we spent one night apart from each other since i was at home with my family and neither of us slept very well. i love being with him more than anything else, and we enjoy all our time togetherhowever, we have both been neglecting our own friends and our common friends. we don't go out as much, we rarely do things on our own, and neither of us study. he doesn't have much hw and is graduating in a couple months. i have two more years to go and somewhat difficult classes. he may be getting an apartment in brooklyn, and it'd be very impractical for me to spend much of my weekdays there when my work, classes, and dorm are in manhattanunderstand that things must change if they are to work. i don't know about your particular relationship, but i know when i have to spend less time with my bf, my feelings won't be any different. you may have to relearn how to be more independent, and during that time you will miss each other. but that would just make your time together even greater. i would suggest to you to explore your own interests, maybe those things you never did with her because she was uninterested. remember your individuality and develop it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4elements Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 Just do your thing. Don't be depending on your girl. Always depend on yourself & keep yourself occupied by having fun or by doing something that will make yourself improve in whatever. hehe - Just support her ideas & let her know that you'll always be there for her.-Star* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycfurby Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 There comes a point when you leave the honeymoon stage and get to comfort. However, you gotta keep it spicy. My ex let me know that he was too comfortable and man... he gave an inch and I took a mile. If you let her know that she has you, she'll walk all over you. You gotta play the game till you get to the Altar. Make her chase you a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 Join a gym, go out with your friends, there has got to be something that sparks your interest. Having separt lives is good... You don't want your lives to be intertined at ever moment. Having independence is good. What did you do before she was girlfriend???? Hope things work out for you.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phantombass Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 Ok I agree with alot of what everyone says. You have to give her her space. If you have your own life she will definately want you more. Don't get to rapped up around her. Your making yourself look like a loser and chics don't like that. They like a guy who is in more control of himself. Ignore her if you have to. If she thinks you don't care or don't want her she'll want you. (this doesn't apply in all instances but from what you say she says then it does) Step back or your gonna lose her. I can see it. Read what you wrote. You have the answers in front of you. Hope this helps. Just looking out for ya... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siceone Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 run.... you'll bump into something-C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 DUDE....forget all of that and GO GET LAID!!!!!! :hump: :hump: :hump: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stompy Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 ahh, jerk off, always makes me feel better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shugabooga Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 give her what she wants, AND THEN, give her a dose of her own medicine - take her "rules" a step further, call her even less than what she is dictating...she can't have it all her own way, she can't dictate exactly when you talk. that's not a relationship. she's got something else going on, or her feelings have changed, otherwise she wouldn't act this way. don't let her walk all over you and waste your time. put the shoe on the other foot and let her see how it feels to be on shaky ground. you'll push the issues into the spotlight a lot faster and come to a clearer resolution. good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 just keep yourself busy. go out with friends, live.... meet new people and just focus on here and now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted October 8 Author Report Share Posted October 8 YES, i want to thank you all for making me look at my situation from the outside... It's funny how love can be such a game, and making the other "wonder"I really think all of you who said to go out more, call her less, and make her wonder is RIGHT ON!She is an independant type of girl, and looking back, i think we spent way too much time together.... now it's kinda like payback, and i gotta lay off a little.... i never thought about it like that, but i guess you can And you know what... I'm going out tonight to see Snoop D.O.G.G.just me and my boy... i think that will be a good first step in realizing the other side of the lens and making her see i CAN get along without her....THANK YOU ALL---~a happy, more clairvoyant smurf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitty19 Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 a relationship doesn't have rules and it isn't a game. it seems as if b/c your girlfriend is asking you to follow these rules (ie, call me once every other day, sleep in different beds), it's hurting/confusing you. then tell her that you are feeling strange about these boundaries. if she really cares about you, she should be willing to talk things out. if she doesn't want to talk, then don't you have your answer right there?i don't think she's trying to "run the show". but she probably has a more solid reason (whether it be good or bad) as to why she is being the way she is. there is no need to act out of spite against her and do something that can hurt the two of you, or really, yourself. good luck.. i've been in a relationship for the last 2 1/2 years, and it's been one of the hardest responsibilities to handle in my life, but the most rewarding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 *****the only way to get OVER one is to get UNDER another****** ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehacker Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 Originally posted by gmccookny She says i should focus on myself more, BUT HOW?/?porn.baby oil.figure it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehacker Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 WTF is wrong with me? why the hell did i post that?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorfern Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 Nudie bar...works like a charm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted October 8 Author Report Share Posted October 8 yeah yeah, nudie bar, porn, jerk it off... been there done that--those are just short-term fixes...they won't really help me get my mind off my girlfriend.She's just different in the way she likes to handle a relationship.I think i really have to consider the changes that have taken place and decide if that's for me or not--We've been together for a year, and are best friends, so it would be tough to leave her for silly reasons, so i just want to be sure.I ain;t gona call her for a while... let her call me for onceAnd show her i can have a life w/out her. She has admitted to not putting me in the forefront of her life, and that kinda hurts, but i guess that's how she is. I think i;m more giving, so THIS IS TOUGH!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehacker Posted October 8 Report Share Posted October 8 when shit ain't mutual it's always tough.hell, sometimes it's impossible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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