mel-o-d

Durango H.S., Las Vegas, NV - Class '96 Colgate U., Hamilton, NY - Class '00 Hi Dennis! ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

Are you guys for real? We're talking about 2 different topics here. First of all, if you feel the need to cheat on your bf/gf, that says right there you have no respect for what you guys share and that you in your heart/mind, you have given up on having a meaningful, long term relationship with your gf/bf. Sex isn't just sex when you're in a relationship. And if you're cheating, sneaking around, lying, then it isn't an "open" relationship. uknjx2 and blueangel - please enlighten me on how cheating actually demonstrates that you want more from a relationship. This blows my mind. Maybe it's because I have been the other woman before, but when a man regularly cheats on his girlfriend with you, it's because his feelings for his girlfriend has changed. Sex between two people can be fun and exciting, to explore your sexuality and to experiment, but when it's a regular thing, it becomes more than just physical.

mysteriousss - totally agree with you there. Relationships are just hard. They're not perfect and never can be. Ideally of course, your bf/gf is your friend first and foremost. A better question would be, would you be willing to sacrifice friendship for something more? Me - nope. Real friends are hard to come by, bf/gf are a dime a dozen. BTW Flying-High, I agree with you completely.

I just can't tolerate cheating. I think being in a relationship is all about making sacrifices and losing your heart, showing your vulnerabilities but being loved for everything that you are, good and bad. And in the process you grow as an individual by becoming part of a couple. A couple - that's just two people. When someone cheat or feel the need to have an "open" relationship, that just says to me they are being selfish. Whether to fulfill their fantasies or whatever, there's just something fundamentally disrespectful in polygamy. And while it wasn't the best experience, being the other woman definitely helped me come to this conclusion and I'm glad for having gone through it. Once was enough, never again would I subject myself towards that sort of treatment.

You guys are taking this *title* way too seriously. When your bf/gf becomes your best friend, you risk losing so much of yourself and your heart when (not if) the relationship ends. *Potential* bestfriend, yes, but absolute very best friend, no. That should come only much later when you know you're on the same page in terms of what you want out of life and from each other. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

February 21, 2001 Some Korean Women Are Taking Great Strides to Show a Little Leg By MICHAEL SCHUMAN Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL SEOUL, South Korea -- N.R. Kim's classmates called her "radish legs." Forced to wear a knee-length plaid skirt as part of her high-school uniform, she was so embarrassed by her chunky calves that she ran home every day to dodge the taunts. Her parents needled her, too -- saying she looked like a "soccer player." So last year, Ms. Kim, who requested the use of only her family name and initials to protect her identity, went under the knife. A plastic surgeon sliced away part of her calf muscle to slim down her legs. After the bloody procedure, her legs hurt so much, she says, "I never thought I'd walk again." A full month passed before she could walk normally, and she still felt a little pain nine months later. But she's far from disappointed with the results: No one calls her radish legs anymore. The Supermodel Within As the winds of globalization sweep through this prosperous Asian nation, Korean women have increasingly lifted their noses, shaved their jaws and widened their eyes in a relentless drive to attain the Western image of beauty. More recently, young women have begun targeting their thick calves, a common attribute that many Koreans find masculine and ugly, in the hope of attaining the willowy legs sported by the world's supermodels. But leg jobs are kicking up controversy even in cosmetic-surgery-crazed South Korea -- the only country, local doctors say, where these extreme operations are regularly performed. Chung Chin Youb, of the department of orthopedic surgery at Seoul National University's College of Medicine, frets that the operations may weaken the leg and limit patients' ability to get around over the long term. "It could be difficult to walk uphill," Dr. Chung warns. Patients like Ms. Kim say the benefits far outweigh the risks. Ms. Kim, now a 20-year-old college student, has started wearing shorts and credits the surgery with landing her a boyfriend. Her only worry is that someone might notice the slight scars left by the surgery on the back of her legs. "It's better to go through this and look good than to be emotionally scarred," she says. Like a Virgin The leg-job movement isn't the only way Korean women go to surgical extremes in order to prevent embarrassment. Another operation available here purports to restore a woman's virginity: Surgeons repair a torn hymen to erase any signs of past sexual activity. In recent years, say gynecologists, Korea's shifting sexual attitudes have created a small but steady market for the procedure, which costs around $800. The operation has particular appeal among some brides-to-be. "Although they enjoy premarital sex, when Korean men get married, they want a wife who is a virgin," says Hong Soon Ki, a doctor at Inae Obstetrics & Gynecology Clinic in Seoul, who performs the procedure. This mix of traditional mores and modern medicine is also behind the urge for women to slim their calves. And with Koreans on average making more money than most other people in Asia, more young women here can afford the procedures. Kim Ing Gon, Ms. Kim's doctor, has been one of the practice's chief architects. A stern, paternal 52-year-old who is chairman of the department of plastic and reconstructive surgery at Seoul's Han-Yang University Hospital, Dr. Kim says he was spurred to devise a remedy for big calves after patients pleaded for his help. The usual method used in the West -- liposuction -- doesn't work for many Koreans, because their calves are thickened by muscle, not fat. Dr. Kim became sympathetic to his patients' plight after gazing at one slinky leg after another in ancient Korean paintings and, during a trip to the Louvre in Paris, old statues of trim female warriors. "It got me thinking more how important legs are to a woman," he says. In Dr. Kim's procedure, which costs $2,800 or more, two small incisions are made at the top of the calf in the back of the leg. He inserts an endoscope, separates the muscle from a membrane, and then cuts away some of the protruding muscle. Dr. Kim performed his first operation in 1994, and says he has carved over 100 patients since. Moon Jung Sun, a 22-year-old fashion model, is one of Dr. Kim's many happy patients. Ms. Moon was so uncomfortable with her legs that she refused to wear short skirts on the job. Her stress increased when she compared her own legs with those of other popular Korean models, who are often bone thin. Back in the dressing rooms at fashion shows, her sensitive manager made sure that anything too short stayed at the back of the rack. Still, she was lumped into the radish-leg camp. Even her mother complained that she "had her father's legs." Two years ago, Ms. Moon saw an article about Dr. Kim and his special surgery in a Korean fashion magazine and paid him a visit. She worried that the surgery would interfere with her work, which requires a lot of standing and walking. Her mother worried that something would go awry. But Dr. Kim assured them that she would suffer no side effects, and she finally decided to cut into those embarrassing calves. Now Ms. Moon says she confidently wears short skirts while strutting down runways. "I'm glad I did it," she says. "Seeing how confident I am at work, my mother said she's glad I did it, too." Across town from Dr. Kim, Suh In Seock, chairman of the department of plastic and reconstructive surgery at the Kangnam Sacred Heart Hospital, boasts of creating a competing operation, which costs about $2,400. The 47-year-old surgeon claims that in 1993 he was the first to sever a nerve leading to a muscle in the calf, causing the muscle to shrink. Dr. Suh, like Dr. Kim, was struggling to find ways to help his distraught patients, and, realizing that muscles shrivel when not used, decided nerve-cutting could achieve the desired effect. Dr. Suh's procedure has a shorter recovery period -- patients walk home the day of the surgery. He says he has operated on about 200 people over the past five years. Both doctors insist their procedures are safe. Dr. Kim says that he has conducted studies of his patients and determined that the strength of the leg isn't damaged by the operation. The leg usually returns to normal after six months, he says, although he might not recommend the surgery for ballerinas or mountain climbers. He points out that when calf muscles have been damaged in an accident or used in reconstructive surgery on other parts of the body, the patient's leg still functions normally. Dr. Suh says he "guarantees my patients that there will be no functional problems." He admits that some doctors gripe that he shouldn't be performing his nerve-cutting operation, but shoots back: "I have the facts that there have been no complications ... That's their opinion." Richard Mladick of the Mladick Center for Cosmetic Plastic Surgery in Virginia Beach, Va., says that Dr. Kim Ing Gon and his team have "a very good, safe track record" on his muscle-cutting operation and that "functionally, people would get along fine." Dr. Mladick wrote a brief discussion of the procedure that was printed in the September 2000 edition of a journal called Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. His article appeared immediately after a piece on the surgery by Dr. Kim and three other Korean doctors in the same edition. He calls the surgery "difficult," with potential for significant bleeding. And the final look of the leg isn't perfect either. "They are changing the leg into a thinner but rather shapeless leg," he says. Dr. Mladick hasn't performed the surgery, and he doesn't know of the procedure ever having been performed in the U.S. He says he can imagine one day recommending the muscle-cutting surgery after it is developed further, but "not in the near future." The nerve-cutting alternative, he adds, is "a very nice way" to shrink the calf, although he also believes that procedure requires great skill. Kim Yong Oock, a plastic surgeon at Yonsei University's College of Medicine in Seoul, has conducted a few nerve-cutting operations and argues that the results are sometimes poor and that the muscle can even enlarge again. "I don't like this operation," he says. If done incorrectly, "it can be disastrous." Dr. Kim's muscle-cutting procedure, he adds, creates too much bleeding and produces suspect results. Dr. Suh, the inventor of the nerve-cutting operation, acknowledges that inexperienced plastic surgeons occasionally make the mistake of cutting more than one of the three nerves leading to the calf, causing the patient to drag her leg. Immediate surgery is needed to repair a nerve. Dr. Suh says he has fixed about 10 such operations botched by other doctors, and all the patients recovered. None of the risks dissuaded H.S. Kim, an office worker in her early 30s, who once strode through life on chunky calves. "Skirts were unthinkable," she says. "I used to hate summer." In 1998, after watching Dr. Kim Ing Gon talk up his operation on a television program, she visited him at his hospital. She immediately trusted him and decided to have her calf muscles trimmed. Ms. Kim, who also asked that she be identified only by her initials and family name, hid her plan from friends and family, fearing they would try to dissuade her, and checked herself into a Seoul hospital alone. She called only her husband from her hospital bed after the operation. Ms. Kim stayed at home and out of sight for about two months, and, to this day, her husband remains the only person in the know. When others, even her mom, have commented on her new legs, she just says that she lost a lot of weight. "I have no regrets," Ms. Kim says. "It's much better than 'radish legs.' "

Wasn't going to chime in on this one but I couldn't help myself. I have seen plenty of friends cheat on serious relationships, and I have to admit, I have been the *other* woman before, and the only time someone cheats is when the relationship is long over. But then again, I guess cheating is different from an open relationship in that it's more regular, in that a relationship exist with the 3rd party, whereas open would imply no consistency what-so-ever. If you can handle it, more power to you, but for me, sex is exciting enough with two people involved. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

Oh I beg to differ. When done right, anything old looks new. I mean, look at the 90s ... it was all about recycling old trends. Totally agree with you about the gay men though, they have an amazing eye for style.

Yep, I totally noticed the invasion of the silicone city. They were quite impressive I must say. Did anyone watch the *battle* in the back left of the dance floor? That girl with the cowboy hat and the one in denim were on fire. The men need to come up with some new moves though. Vogue-like arm movements are so passe. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

I'm a total zombie. Slept from 8PM to 10:30 ... 14 and half hours. Am I recovered? Hell no. BTW, did he ever get his happy meal - supersized? ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

I was there till the end! The last few hours I was sitting on the back left speakers, wearing a red top and black pants. I love Mikey, I've never seen him dance like he did last night. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

I feel the exact same way. There was no need for a buildup b/c the party was on from the moment the first person walked into the door. I couldn't get over how people were flying on the dance floor within the first few minutes. Oh, and that song you're asking about, I love it. Can anyone ID it? The only other line I remember is: Why must I deal with this shit, every fucking day.

you should buy them from Amazon ... they average about $15 each and you save on sales tax. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

Is Anthony a classically trained dancer? I was blown away by his moves on that ledge next to the DJ's booth. He was doing this beautiful arabist (?), hitting all the position, and the way he was just flying on that tiny little edge, had me a little worried, but yeah, he's beautiful and I would be up to seeing him spin. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

I love that. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

Holy shit - I just woke up. I must have gone to bed around 7PM Monday and I only woke up b/c my friend called me an hour ago. Raced to work and feel totally disoriented. Did Sunday even happen? Did DT and Cox happen? It must have b/c I posted on the Twilo board about it. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

I was actually a little disappointed with Christopher Lawrence's set. It was almost exactly straight out of his United States of Trance cd. Space Girl was definitely impressive. Her style was so different from anything else I've experienced before: it was like she was *producing* a track for us on stage. All in all, a fun night. Glad I journey up to New Rochelle. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

Missing out on tonight b/c you don't have people to go with is just plain silly. I personally am all ready and am itching to go, solo. Get your ass over here and have a great time! ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

My college buddies and I always used the phrase "in our elements" to describe moments when all was right between us and the world around us, when you felt perfectly chilled and comfortable in your own skin. I kind of think of that as being in rare form. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

Dave Ralph was really good. His track selection was superb. If only he had more than one hour. To all those people that stayed till the end, were there not some funky tunes or what? How much fun was it to hear: So happy together ...

tell me about it ... just got home from unified a couple of hours ago, showered, took a sleeping pill and somehow, only managed to get a couple hour of sleep ... WTF? I'm going to be a freaking zombie by the time DT is done with me. Can't wait! ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

How do you guys think Danny's London compares? I've been listening to that on repeat at nights and absolutely love it. Right now though, Amazon just delivered 3 new CD's and I'm blown away by Seaman's Buenos Aires ... definitely will be in attendance for his next NYC appearance. Oh, Amazon also gave me 10 $0.01 stamps ... LOL.

Totally agree with you there. It's nice and what not, but so over rated. On to bigger and better things people.

Ok, so today's Valentine's Day and love/relationships sucks. Can we move on already? Did anyone see the article also on Salon.com about the Malaysian "erection concoction"? ... now that's good reading. ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody is watching.

*bumb* sdm1976 - check your PM