i don't want to make this just a thread attacking shook, but i do wanna say that messageboards aren't solely reserved for 20-year-olds. clubplanet is for anyone who wants to post here; there's no age minimum or maximum. people post here who can't even get into clubs legally , and some here are in their mid-30s. diversity makes this site great, and one of the whole points of a messageboard is a certain degree of anonymity. anyway, about the original topic of this thread, i wasn't attracted to my last bf at first. i only went out with him because he seemed like such a gentleman when he asked me out, and that sweetness really appealed to me. even after our 1st date i still felt no spark, but i went out with him again 'cause i figured i'd at least gain a cool friend to go dancing with. it was then that i got attracted to him, because i learned that we had SO much in common, both in interests and in who we were. so, there you have it, attraction can come later. he turned out to be a liar and a jerk, but that's another story.